Celtics 104, Knicks 59 (or The Time I Cried Blood)

(AP Photo/Elise Amendola)

It was as bad as it gets, everybody. If you missed it, a. you lucky bastard and b. even the ridiculous score can't do justice to the sheer ass-pillaging that the Knicks suffered tonight. My game notes were pretty much incoherent, but a few thoughts on the slaughter that was:

• The Knicks were wearing white jerseys and Stephon Marbury was booed every time he touched the ball. It was pretty much a home game.
• If you missed the game, you missed Charles and Kenny saying the most horrible things that have ever been said about a professional sports team. At one point, Chuck had to list his "Fave Five" Knicks of all time. I don't remember the first four, but the last one was "No one today".
• Somewhere in the world, one Celtics fan said to his New Yorker friend, "Yo, the Knicks fucking suck. The Celtics are gonna smoke 'em by 50.", to which the friend said "Fuck you. 100 bucks if that happens". There were points this evening where that seemed like a sure pay-up. Barely missed.
• Imagine this plausible scenario in the fourth quarter: With a couple minutes left, Doc Rivers sits everybody to avoid injuries, leaving just two people: one to inbound the ball after Knick makes, and the other to simply throw it the full length of the court to the other basket so it rolls out of bounds. So, essentially, the Knicks can bring the ball up and play 5-2, scoring repeatedly at will until time expires. With a 50 point margin, and only a couple minutes left, THE CELTICS WOULD STILL PROBABLY HAVE WON.
• Nate hit a sick halfcourt shot, but blew multiple opportunities to cement his place in showboating history. What if, down 50 in the fourth quarter on the road, Nate hit a routine jumpshot and then broke out a ridiculous celebration, like the Soulja Boy or something, and then ran down the court mouthing off to the nearest Celtic? That would be legendary.
• I'm really interested to see what the newspapers and bloggers are saying tomorrow. Think of all the people (I may have been one) who a week ago said, "well, at least it can't get any worse".
• Reminder: Yup.