Know the Opponent: Charlotte Bobcats

#15 Alan Anderson- In between games and practices, Alan attends weekly Porn Addicts Anonymous meetings.

#23 Derek Anderson- Derek possesses a basketball card collection that consists solely of his own cards. He constantly checks them for statistical errors and mix-ups. The people at Topps have gotten used to Derek calling and insisting, "I shot forty-four percent from the field in 2000. This card says forty-three. That's just inexcusable."

#7 Primoz Brezec- Primoz enjoys playing in Charlotte, but would like to be traded to L.A. or New York because of the superior shopping.

#13 Matt Carroll- Matt hasn't played a single overtime in his career becaue his bedtime is at 10:30. No excuses, mister.

#20 Raymond Felton- Raymond can spit a peach pit into soda can from over 15 feet away.

#24 Othella Harrington- When Othella checks out of a game, he has been known to pull out a Chinese paper fan to cool himself off.

#5 Walter Herrmann- The double "r" and double "n" in Walter's last name are almost impossible to pronounce to the untrained tongue. In fact, only Walter can say his own name right. The correct pronunciation of "Herrmann" is so unique and exotic that the very sound of it has been known to impregnate nearby women.

#1 Ryan Hollins- In a Bobcats game in early December, there was a shot clock malfunction during the first quarter. Arena technicians couldn't locate a ladder, so they leaned Ryan up against the basket and climbed up to access the broken clock. Ryan, who was quietly eating cashews at the time, was completely oblivious to what was going on.

#22 Brevin Knight- Brevin spends his time on the bench during every game beating Pokemon Blue on Gameboy. He always needs Derek Anderson to help him catch Mewtwo.

#42 Sean May- Sean's typical scouting report reads, "Good post moves...Solid rebounder...Cuddly."

#0 Jeff McInnis- While most players drink Gatorade on the bench, Jeff likes to keep cool with a spoonful or three of cough syrup.

#35 Adam Morrison- Despite his appearance, Adam actually shaves his upper lip everyday. His mustache, though, has a mind of its own. If it were left to grow, the 'stache would eventually engulf his whole face, seep into his brain, and command him to stick up all the KFC's in the Charlotte area.

#50 Emeka Okafor- Contrary to his seemingly quiet demeanor and his nice-guy reputation, Emeka is wanted in the state of Connecticut for exposing himself to a crossing guard.

#43 Jake Voskuhl- Before games, Jake briefly leaves the team locker room and heads over to the announcers' quarters to have his hair and makeup done.

#3 Gerald Wallace- Gerald's nickname, "Multiplicity" refers not to his ability to fill the stat sheet, but to his intense, somewhat disturbing obsession with Michael Keaton.

Those are your Bobcats. Sorry this is up so late. Game thread coming very shortly. Peace.

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