The P&T Knick of the Year Award

by Seth on Apr 30, 2007 5:43 PM EDT in Events

It's about time I get your reactions to this roller coaster of a season. This is the Knick of the Year Award. Place your vote based on performance- but also on character, style, appearance, and excitement. For better or worse. Because that's how we do things at P&T.

One thing is that the poll feature on this blog only allows up to 10 choices, so I had to remove 5 candidates. The easiest omission was Steve Francis, who did almost nothing of value on the court this year, and probably trips senior citizens. Kelvin Cato and Randolph Morris were next because they were either DNP's or enrolled in college for most of the year. It got tougher after that, because I was starting to break into the actual rotation. Jared Jeffries eventually had to go, because he had almost no effect on anything that ever happened this season. Sorry, Jared. In the end, it was a toss-up between the slumping Channing Frye and the fairly productive but obnoxious Malik Rose. Channing made the cut, and Malik did not. Sucks.

So here you are. These are your ten candidates for the 2006-2007 Inaugural P&T Knick of the Year Award, with a brief summary to help you determine your pick.

Renaldo Balkman

Physical Description: Lanky, frenetic, dreadlock'd

Facial Expression: Stoned, unimpressed

Key Stats: 4.9 PPG and 4.3 RPG in only 15.6 MPG

Signature Moment of the Year: Completely sky-fucked Devin Harris.

Notes: Nicknamed "Humpty"...Had potentially devastating head injury prevented by billowing dreadlocks in the preseason...Much-lampooned draft pick who proved his worth

Mardy Collins

Physical Description: Deceptively tall, bad

Facial Expression: Suspicious, sedate

Key Stats: .277 3P%, .585 FT%

Signature Moment of the Year: Tried to hug J.R. Smith.

Notes: His jumpshot is only for mature audiences...Nicknamed "MC Lyte".. Maybe had a few decent games towards the end of the year...Might have more than 5 fingers on each hand

Jamal Crawford

Physical description: Silky, fragile

Facial Expression: Bashful, curious

Key Stats: 17.6 PPG, 4.4 APG

Signature Moment of the Year: Dropped a full deck on the Heat.

Notes: Had a stress reaction in his leg...Or maybe that was David Lee...What the fuck is a stress reaction anyway?...Nicknamed "Chilly Bones" (although rarely used)

Eddy Curry

Physical description: Mountainous, lumpy, sweaty

Facial Expression: Fatigued

Key Stats: 19.5 PPG, 7 RPG, .576 FG%, 1.000 3PG%

Signature Moment of the Year: Eddy Curry! Eddy Curry!?

Notes: Played 81 of 82 games...Nicknamed "Mittens"...Said he'd leave if Isiah ever left

Channing Frye

Physical Description: Kinda tall, peach fuzzy

Facial Expression: Hesitant, congested

Key Stats: 9.5 PPG, 5.5 RPG

Signature Moment of the Year: Jackie Chan-ning Frye

Notes: Demonstrated utter inability to read a script in a "Garden of Dreams" commercial...When he does not hesitate, he does not miss...Usually hesitates

Jerome James

Physical Description: Buoyant

Facial Expression: Pie

Key Stats: 1.9 PPG (pizzas per game)

Signature Moment of the Year: The Ice Cream and Cake mix tape.

Notes: Once got confused with LeBron James by an ignorant guy behind me at the Garden...Attempted a crossover

David Lee

Physical Description: Pale, dense, furry

Facial Expression: Bloodthirsty

Key Stats: 10.7 PPG, 10.4 RPG

Signature Moment of the Year: The tip-in

Notes: Missed a bunch of games...Briefly grew a porn star mustache...Frequently "left hanging" on high fives

Stephon Marbury

Physical Description: Headstrong, shiny

Facial Expression: Half-asleep, perverted

Key Stats: 16.4 PPG, 5.4 APG, .356 3P%

Signature Moment of the Year: Coast-to-coast against the Jazz

Notes: Peddled cheap shoes...Played through a slew of injuries

Quentin Richardson

Physical Description: Ripped

Facial Expression: Prissy

Key Stats: 13.0 PPG, 7.2 RPG, .376 3P%

Signature Moment of the Year: Put 31 and 9 on Memphis on opening night

Notes: Probably the motivational leader of the team...Underrated

Nate Robinson

Physical Description: Lilliputian, bouncy, chipper

Facial Expression: Cocksure, toothy

Key Stats: 10.1 PPG, .390 3P%

Signature Moment of the Year: Rejected Yao Ming

Notes: Also botched an off-the-backboard attempt in Cleveland...Threw down with J.R. Smith...Favorite movie of the year was "Monster House", but it gave him nightmares

Them's your 10 candidates for Knick of the Year. I'm gonna put a poll up so everyone can make their selections. Remember to vote with your heart, not your head. Back later. Peace.

0 recs | Comment 7 comments

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individual awards

i took it an extra step and voted each individually because a) im at work and b) i have absolutely nothing better to do:

Best Physical Description: Big Snacks (buoyant)

Best Facial Expression: Jamal Crawford (bashful, curious) --- by the way where did the "chilly bones" come from?

Best Stat: Mardy Collins 22.7 3-pt FG% (but in all seriousness, Lee probably put up the best numbers

Best Signature Moment of the Year: Lee's tip to beat Charlotte

Best Notes: Humpty ("Had potentially devastating head injury prevented by billowing dreadlocks in the preseason")

Ewing with the step...YES! and the foul!

by Anthony Masons Haircut on Apr 30, 2007 8:28 PM EDT 0 recs

Appreciate it.

I wanted to start calling Jamal "Chilly Bones" at one point early this season cause he's so skinny and he always looks cold (blowing into his hands at the FT line). Didn't stick.

By the way, I did NOT realize that David Lee averaged a double-double. Totally missed that until today.

Posting and Toasting: Unabashed Knicks fanaticism with the occasional poop joke.

by Seth on Apr 30, 2007 8:32 PM EDT up 0 recs

Steph!

But here's some things I'm wondering
Did Malik or Jared have a signature moment of the year? I figured out that Steve had his Wiz buzzer beater, Randolph had an NCAA tournament game, and Kelvin Cato is in the background of Steph's coast to coast against the Jazz, which still surprises me every time I see that clip.
Was Randolph Morris really enrolled in college? I know basketball players don't "take" "courses" at "college", but I have a funny image of Randolphs teachers being really angry when he stopped showing up to class, and then another image of the teacher about to give out all the final exams and sighing and thinking about how he failed Dolph as a student and the test is about to start and all of a sudden Dolph bursts through the door and the teacher is like "Well well well, its Mr. Morris. I presume you've studied?" and he winks and is like "Would I let you down, Professor Smith!" and the Professor smiles back, knowingly. He fails miserably. Is that from a movie?
Statline of the year: Eddy's 3 percentage
I remember that Channing Frye ad, and I still sometimes am haunted for hours by him saying "sometimes, dinner is just crackers."

The Son of Dippin.

by Barnesgasm on Apr 30, 2007 10:24 PM EDT 0 recs

Channing

I have night terrors about Channing Frye having night terrors about having to deliver the line "We don't always get to eat"

Posting and Toasting: Unabashed Knicks fanaticism with the occasional poop joke.

by Seth on Apr 30, 2007 10:47 PM EDT up 0 recs

Award rationalization

Sorry, I had to do this kind of weighing the pros and cons of all them worthy candidates:
So, in something like reverse order, my picks for Knick of the year:
Channing Frye: Nothing like a full stop to development and a lack of heart can spot you this low. Bonus point and therefore one step above Franchise for the Kung Fu moves.
Quentin Richardson: Being a martyr and crippled by injury makes you likeable and everything... but this is too Allan Houston for my liking.
Nate Robinson: The operational word is "he got spunk". Energy, heart and a very big mouth. Alas, he is the Michael Ballack, of my favourite basketball team. Oh, you don't know who Ballack is? Number 2 on my all-time "stupid SOBs on Bayern Munich"-list (actually he's playing for Chelsea FC at the moment) for committing unnecessary, stupid fouls and being a jerk in general.
Mardy Collins: Too little, too late. And I ain't sold on this cat. I sincerely want him to prove me wrong, but I don't see him as an A-Level PG.
Jamal Crawford: streaky. That's my impression of this player... and in watching those 52 points vs Miami I wonder: how many of those came on assists? 6? That's not good... not his fault necessarily, but not good.
From here on out, it's getting really hard:
Stephon Marbury: Hate to put him that "low", with him being all the good little Knick and changing his game and approach and even his shoes coming into the mix... but and that's a big but: I do see too much unfulfilled potential. That being a big part of my picture of being "a Knick". Playing your heart out and overachieving. So, there he has to go, even with good efforts.
Eddy Curry: Speaking of "playing your heart out"... I picture him rising for a hard block...and then collapsing on the ground as his hypertrophic myocardium gives out... next thing I see is the Live ticker on NBA.com and the realization I dozed away looking at another Knicks loss... so much for night terrors.
So, we're coming to the Top 3, hope you're still with me:
Jerome James: For one and only one reason:
Ice cream and Cake! Brillant, hilarious!

Renaldo Balkman: Really a hard decision, for me, to drop him one spot in this "Knick of the year award", as he is everything I look for in qualities as a Knickerbocker. Hustle, energy, overachievement, defense, heart. He even has (here) a great nickname, Humpty... I think, if he had more consistent playing time, from the start of the season, he could have dethroned:

David Lee: Him for bringing home the hardware, no one expected:
Utter dominance of the Rookie Destruction. For delivering the Da-Lee double... for making the most positive progression on that Knicks team and being thoroughly enjoying to watch!

Cya Wraith

by wraith on May 1, 2007 6:46 AM EDT 0 recs

Nice.

I meant to mention Lee's Rookie Game MVP award, since he's pretty much the only Knick who won anything this year (besides those 4 straight games of "Dont Wake Daddy!" that Nate won and still boasts about.)

Posting and Toasting: Unabashed Knicks fanaticism with the occasional poop joke.

by Seth on May 1, 2007 7:03 AM EDT up 0 recs

"Congested."

...so true! I nearly wet my pants over these.

Lee, Balkman, and Robinson can all resuscitate a dead game, Eddy's had a good year, and Steph has moments of greatness, but overall--and I agree that he can be streaky--I have to go with Jamal. He's the only one I trust with the ball at the end of the game--not because he always makes the shot, but because the pressure doesn't seem to affect him. When Steph gets it at the end, I can almost see him overthinking it. Steph is hot-blooded; Jamal is ice-cold.

by knicksfix on May 1, 2007 5:08 PM EDT 0 recs