For real. But not to worry. Read: (emphasis is mine)
A peacock that roamed into the parking lot of a Burger King in New York City was beaten by a man who insisted it was a vampire.
Animal control officials in Staten Island say the bird was beaten so fiercely that most of its tail feathers fell out and it had to be euthanized.
Problem solved. I don't know who this man is, but he needs to be added to the Knicks staff. Be on the lookout for Steve's return in other forms. I myself had to choke out a groundhog just this afternoon.
Note: I just added a new section called "Steve Francis Hauntings". Keep your eye on the news for more of these.