Bulls 105, Knicks 100

What a stinky, stinky start to the road trip. 12 hours later, I'm still reeling from that garbage finish. Playing against a relatively beatable team in the Bulls, the Knicks got lazy on defense, careless on offense, and couldn't execute down the stretch to hand the Bulls an undeserved victory. Outside of Derrick Rose, the Bulls are a bunch of bigtime poo-butts. Yeah, I said it. The Knicks got played. Instead of well-informed game notes, how about some petty trash talk instead?

- Larry Hughes and Ben Gordon are traitors. The whole way, they were bricking open jumpers and keeping the Knicks in the game. Then down the stretch they decided to hit open shots and push the Knicks out of it! We were just starting to trust you guys!

- I don't know where Drew Gooden managed to find a mermaid's vagina. Nor do I know why he opted to transplant it on his face.

- Andres Nocioni makes me want to break my laptop over my head. Joakim Noah makes me want to swallow it whole.

- What if those two switched haircuts? Anybody good at Photoshop?

- Clyde called Aaron Gray's hook shot "anachronous". I say any professional basketball player who still trick-or-treats is an anachronism. Oh, you didn't know? Guy came to my house and snatched all the Kit-Kats. Punk.

- Luol Deng may or may not be a dementor.

- A friend pointed out these matching haircuts:

Watch out Chicago. VINNY DEL NEGRO WILL DROP A CHAINSAW ON YOUR HEAD.

Some real notes:

- Chris Duhon: 15, 14, and 9. Bread City is calling him "Goosedown". I don't get it, but I like it.

- Wilson Chandler- Listen, buddy. Relax. When you catch the ball, chill for a second and think about how much time is on the clock, where you are on the floor, and who's guarding you before you haphazardly seize towards the rim. Ever since the trade, Wil's looked really on edge with the ball in his hands. Someone oughta slip some Xanax into his Gatorade.

- Also, does Wil wear like a size 30 shoe? Why does he always get caught with his heel on the baseline?

- Keep an eye out for video of Quentin Richardson's throwdown of an alley-oop off a hiiiiigh Wilson Chandler pass. What back problems?

In short, this was a doody-ball game in which we got beat by a bunch of lowdown poo-butts. Next game's tonight in New Jersey, and there's gonna be hell to pay if the Knicks can't put in a little more effort.