Editor's Note: Big thanks to Arichmix for penning up this recap of last night's shitfest. Enjoy.
Well..that was fun. Haha, just kidding, it was disgusting. For all those lucky ones who missed it, or those pain-loving types, here's the two-and-a-half hour shitfest that is a New York Knick game, condensed into a neat bullet list. How delightful.
The Knicks start out surprisingly well. They hold their ground against a clearly better Magic team, and stay toe to toe with them early.
And by "Knicks", I mean not Eddy Curry. If getting two quick fouls as fast as possible was a timed Olympic event, Eddy would have gold medals to the ceiling.
Zach Randolph is out for the game with a foot injury. Which is totally fine by me. However, it was a game-time decision, so Isiah couldn't activate Dolph or Jerome. Which sucks considering Jerome is, and I quote, "One of the best defensive big men in the NBA." Guess which oracle genius of basketball provided us with that tidbit of truth?
Malik Rose gets some early minutes. This can't be good.
Actually, it is. He gets some good hustle plays in there, and (get ready) he dunks it on Brian Cook! Seriously, Brian Cook should just retire from professional basketball now. Once you get dunked on by Malik, your basketball career is dead.
The Northfork Bank upcoming schedule: Hornets, Cavs, Pistons all at home. Fun.
In the second quarter, this game is going from Knicks vs. Magic to Dwight Howard vs. A really bad AAU team.
If pump-fakes were a stat, Mardy Collins would be among the leaders in the NBA
Ooh, MSG is having a Leenomenal new event entitled, "Ask David Lee a question". What question would you guys ask DLee if you had the chance? It's a good idea and all, but knowing MSG, they'll probably have some question like, "How much do you love playing for Isiah Thomas?", and they'll have somebody behind the camera holding a gun to David's pet hamster, so he has to answer positively.
I noticed something from watching these games. The Knicks play well when they pass it. For real, when Jamal or Nate just try to take it themselves and force up shots, it just culminates into bad possession after bad possession, but when Eddy passes out and the guy who gets it doesn't jack up a shot, we actually establish some decent momentum.
Whatever, decent momentum isn't gonna get us Derrick Rose, is it?
New Clydeism introduced today: "Evans was on his case like Sherlock Holmes." Wow, you can publish a book written solely in Clydeisms.
Eddy Curry's hands are like bricks slathered in oil, cut off from his arms, glued back on with him having no control, and given a high-five by Justin McCareins. I can not count the times that he got an easy pass thrown to him and he fumbles with it until the opponent gets it.
Mardy needs to attend finishing school. So many times this game I've seen him driving to the basket, and settling for a jumper about 4 feet away from the basket instead of going for a layup or dunking it. And he can definitely dunk it.
Fun stat: the Knicks are the worst shot-blocking team in the NBA right now (and maybe on pace for the worst ever) with only 2 blocks a game. Anybody else surprised that they actually get 2 blocks?
Idea: For the rest of the season, just start Mardy, Wilson, Balk, Lee, and Morris. Who cares? We aren't making the playoffs, and it's not like we're actually winning with Zach, Eddy, Fred, and them. I really doubt those 5 can do worse than what our current rotation guys are doing.
If missing shots from within 2 feet of the basket was a stat that was considered positive, Eddy Curry would be an all-star
Something that makes me sad: Looking at the court, the Magic now play in a stadium called "Amway Arena". It only seemed like yesterday that they were playing the Orlando Arena, and I would watch the Knicks play there away as a small child, seeing Ewing, Starks, Houston, and Ward go up against Nick Anderson, Penny Hardaway, and Darrell Armstrong, who had the pinstripe uniforms going. And at the time about 80 percent of NBA players had the flat-top going, and whenever Allan made a shot, I'd think, "Ooh, Houston is all that and a bag of chips," while eating Dunkaroos and drinking Surge. God, I miss the 90's.
Speaking of flat-tops, I think Mardy should consider one. The bald thing really isn't doing it for him, and I sorta think of him as a throwback player, so show it in your hair-style, son.
The aforementioned white guys who get the least minutes get in, with JJ Redick getting big cheers. Also, Marcin Grotat plays his first minutes in the NBA and scores a basket to the delight of his teammates on the bench. Good for him...bastard.
I think Dwight Howard has had more 20-20 games this season, than Eddy has 10 rebound games. Apparently, he is the first player to get two 20-20 games against the Knicks in the same season since Kevin Willis. Congrats Dwight, you're the next Kevin Willis.
Well, that was pretty much it. I don't want to end this recap all sad and whatnot, so here's a video of Dwight Howard on a roller-coaster.
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