FanPost

SummerSpurs, 82, SummerKnicks, 67

A wistful day for the New York SummerKnicks. As you've surely heard (the title might be a good hint) , the NYSK's storied 6 or so game winning streak in Summer League play has come to a close. But I urge my depressed comrades to focus not on our crushing defeat at the hands of the ruthless Ian Mahinmi powered SummerSpurs, but rather look back on... the good times. 

I'm surprised the Spurs have a summer league team because of their roster's general makeup of a championship-shitting geriatric ward, with little room for the unprofessional motherfucks who populate the D-League and the summer league. Anyway, quick thoughts from players on the summerspurs (I really hope the whole universe adopts the "Summer(teamname)" method of referring to teams): Ian Mahinmi is a french guy who was drafted a few years back and played like 8 minutes this year for the Spurs, Kenny Adeleke went to Hartford, and he and I have one mutual friend on facebook, and George Hill is some random guy they drafted from the omnipresent IUPUI.

Gus Johnson is not in Vegas. In his memory, here is the video for the song "Freaky Gurl" by Gucci Mane:

 

You will be missed, Gus. Anyway, two years ago, they sent Clyde and Mike Breen to Vegas, last year, they sent Clyde and Gus, and this year, they sent Clyde and Mike Crispino. If my projections hold true, next years announcing crew will be Clyde Frazier and an anthropomorphic pile of cow shit. Mike Crispino takes Vegas Summer League action and makes it MORE boring. By the way, the theme of Clyde Frazier's getup tonight is "racial harmony pumpkin". It's half black, half white, and has orange collars and one orange sleeve. 

Danilo Gallinari is out. Another victim of the pillaging force of Robert "Tractor" Traylor, who knocked him down and bruised our fragile italian. Later, Renaldo Balkman will twist an ankle trying to block a shot, and be out for the game, which kind of was a turning point after which the Spurs went on a run. He came back in on crutches. For some reason, he was helped off the court by the Knicks trainer and Jerome Williams, whose post-NBA career of randomly being around a team on which he spent a grand total of one season and was kind of popular amongst the fans is going swimmingly.

I paid practically no attention to this game, so, if you hadn't noticed, 90 percent of this shit will be vaguely tangential, but kinda related to the Knicks, but really just a rant. In other news, our camp group went to a zoo today, and I strongly suggest that the next link dump animal be the tapir. Them fucks is awesome.

A lot of people are saying that the signing Anthony Roberson is Stephon Marbury's death knell as a Knick. I disagree. It's Mardy Collins death knell. Think: Mike D'Antoni is our coach. Mardy Collins is a slow, defensive minded, oversized point guard with a silky 25 percent three point touch, who, in his defense, can turn a few assists here or there, but, on the other hand, IS THE WORST PLAYER IN THE LEAGUE. Roberson is a pg with a great shot who probably hasn't made in in the league because he's a bit too small. Mike D'Antoni is our coach. Who makes the roster? Boy, do I hate Mardy Collins. He goes 1-8 from the field (his one shot was a fadeaway from the free throw line that is ugly enough to prevent me from getting an erection for the next three days) and 0-3 from beyond the line. Roberson had 12. Mardy Collins was a decent idea for a pick at the 29 spot or wherever he got him - a big point guard who distributes and plays d. But he hasn't panned out. He looks to shoot a lot despite a complete dearth of shooting ability and, to be honest, isn't that good a defender - he fouls a guy for a four point play. I don't think he deserves to make our roster. I hope his career as a bitchier Eric Snow turns out well.

They did a really unrevealing interview with Anthony Roberson

Friend-who-is-friends-with-Renaldo-Balkman quote of the day: "Dan Grunfeld facebook messaged me today." Apparantly, he's injured and will not play in the next few days, and apparantly is friends with my FWIFWRB's brother and just tells people that.

Zhang Song-Tao is on our roster. Also, there is a player on our squad named "Antione Johnson". I'm wondering whether this is a) another way of spelling "Antoine" b) a Dwyane Wade or Jhonny Peralta situation or c) his name is pronounced "Antione", however you would say that. 

Clyde and Mike completely fail to grasp how to pronounce "Mahinmi." It's "Ma-een-mee". They pronounced it so that it rhymed with "Tahini".

Q-Rich does a really nice piece from poolside at the Winn at halftime, where he reveals he has about 30 nicknames for Wilson Chandler and only one for Paul MIller. I hope it finds its way onto youtube or something, it was good. You should've watched. Cockmonger.

Gregg Popovich is sitting in the fourth to last row of the arena, focusing intently on the court, with a full moustache/beard. It's disturbing. 

So, anyway, the Knicks pretty much sucked this game. Our best player was either Paul Miller or Anthony Roberson, which is a bad fucking sign. They scored 12 in the fourth quarter, and were stuck between 60 and 63 points from about the 8 minute mark to about the 1:30 mark. Then, Delonte Holland - nicknamename "The Tunnel" - hit two shots in the last minute and did a sweet and completely unnecessary shake and bake move, and the Knicks were down by 18 for a long time. 

In conclusion, Mardy Collins can be fucked by a narwhal, and I hope he is. His jumpshot goes about 20 feet in the air and clangs iron with such force that it cannot possibly go in. Farewell, sweet SummerKnicks win streak.

Sorry, there is no poll. Suck it. 

 

 

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