Lottery Day '09

It's Lottery Day '09, kids! Tonight (8:30, ESPN) marks New York's yearly chance at prospecting priority, and it all comes down to the whims of 1,000 nasty little ping-pong balls. The Knicks will have 28 orbs of excellence in play this evening, producing the following odds:

1st pick: 2.8%

2nd pick: 3.3%

3rd: 3.9%

8th: 72.4%

9th: 16.8%

10th: .08% (100% chance that I eat my own fist.)

So, the overwhelming favorite is for Donnie Walsh to stay put in the mid-lottery. Note that picks 4 through 7 are not possibilities, so if envelope 8 holds some other team's name, feel free to begin undressing. It's party time.

Now, even though tonight's results are in the hands of the basketball gods, don't count yourself out of the picture. There are things you can do to appease said roundball deities.

1. First rule of lottery club: Do not speak the names of the prospects. Last year, we forbade ourselves from speaking the words "Derrick Rose", but still uttered the names of other draft prospects. This year, we're stepping up our religious fervor. I ask you not to use the names of any draft-eligible people until the lottery has run its course. You may substitute rhyming words, describe players rather than name them, or utilize any other clever methods of circumvention you can find. Just no names. Respecting the otherworldly nature of the prospects will please the gods.

2. Do a good deed today. I'm completely serious. Go out of your way to do something nice for somebody- a friend, a family member, or a complete stranger. Doesn't matter. Just swing karma in our direction. Report your benevolence in the comments.

3. Play the Lottery Machine as much as you like. After 7 p.m., though, give it just one spin and then let it rest. Report the results of that final play in the comments (again, no names).

4. Watch this video repeatedly. Allan Houston will represent the Knicks tonight, and needs just this kind of luck to win big.

5. Sacrifice one goat to the basketball gods. Just kidding. Unless you happen to have a goat that needs sacrificing. Then today would be a good day to do it. P&T does not support animal cruelty, for the record. But if you were gonna do it anyway, might as well make it count for something.

6. Brush your teeth. Do it at least once between dinner and the selection. The gods smile upon those with good hygiene.

And them's the rules. This thread is for you to keep us up to date about your worshipful endeavors, as well as any thoughts you have about the draft possibilities. Remember, no names.

Incidentally, I'm pulling for the second spot. It's got all of the prestige, with less of the pressure. Oh, and let's just say the Knicks could more reasonably justify going pequeño with the pick, you feel me?

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