Knicks Twitter Haruspicy: 10/29/10

Note: This is the first in a short series of sponsored posts. As always, I overcame my hesitation to go through with the sponsorship because 1. It's minimally intrusive 2. The advertising company isn't totally reprehensible and 3. I get to give away free stuff at the end of the series. -Seth

The theme of these Samsung-sponsored posts is "Enhance Your Experience", a vague sort of testament to the ways in which technology augments our appreciation of basketball. TVs, computers, mobile devices, and pocket abaci have all latched onto our NBA-viewing experience, lending us instant outlets for statistics, multimedia, and community discussions like those here at P&T. The undisputed champ of all NBA-friendly technology, though, is Twitter.

Twitter, more than any innovation before it, gives us a look into what our Knicks are up to, what they're thinking, and what sort of baggage they're bringing with them into each game. I can't think of a better way of "enhancing your experience" than peering directly into the soul of a Knick. Like dreaming, tweeting is a glimpse into the mind's deepest thoughts, desires, and fears. Therefore, each of these posts will highlight a couple of excellent/relevant tweets that our favorite Knicks hath twat throughout the preceding week. Through our dissection of Knick tweets, we will gain insight into the feelings and subplots underlying the on-court product.

Our first subject is Ronny Turiaf (@RonnyTuriaf14), whose weekend plans might affect his on-court performance tonight:

Last tweet! Saw 3D comes out tomorrow! I'm there on Sat! Believe that! I might not even check my timeline so I don't see no spoilers! HA!

Knick fans, fantasy owners, and everybody else: don't expect to see much of Ronny Turiaf tonight against the Celtics. He is going to foul out. I just can't imagine a scenario in which a man this excited to see the next Saw movie doesn't let the anticipation pollute his thoughts and inflict damage on his opponents. My prediction: Ronny fouls out in 20 minutes play on three blocking fouls, one moving screen, one offensive foul, and, finally, one "tying a 60-foot length of thread from each of Rajon Rondo's teeth to his own basket so he either has to shoot jumpers or lose his teeth" foul.

Our next subject, Landry Fields (@landryfields), spent Thursday reflecting on the trials of youth (naturally, in hashtag form).

#thingsweusedtodoaskids start crying whenever we spilled something.

Of all the childhood memories that hashtag could have stirred, Landry's immediate thoughts were of tearful, guilt-ridden reactions to youthful mishaps. Clearly, the young Mr. Fields just wants to stay within the lines and do right by his elders. This rookie complex directly explains his surprising three-point prowess, as well as his general aversion to misses and mistakes. Expect Landry to keep draining jumpers tonight, if only out of visceral fear. On the off chance that Fields can't find the range, expect tears.

And that, friends, ends our first attempt at Twitter haruspicy. Keep what you've learned in mind when Turiaf, Fields, and the rest of the Knicks take the floor tonight in Boston. Consider your experience enhanced.