Hey guys! If you didn't already know, LaBron James is a free agent and the Knick's have been talked about as a possible destination. I have laid out the greatest master plan in the entire world in order to land LaBron and turn the Knick's into the greatest basketball team in the history of planet earth!!!
STEP ONE: Fire D'Antoni,
This is a no-brainer! Jackson's contract is up in Los Angeles after this season, and he's obviously going to want to come back to New York where he had many great memories, including this picture. Getting out from D'Antoni's contract shouldn't be tough to do - they'd only have to pay him the remaining $12 million on his original four-year deal. That's far less than the $18.5M tab that was given to rid them of Larry Brown. I mean it's definitely time to give up on D'Antoni. With the star players like Earl Barron, Chris Duhon, and Larry Hughes that D'Antoni has enjoyed during his regime, there's no excuse for us to be this bad! It's perfectly rational!
STEP TWO: Trade Chandler for Braden Jennings
Donnie (the dumbass! lolz! Fire him too!) can make up for his dumbass idiot move of not drafting Jennings by trading for him this summer. After leading the injury-riddled Bucks to the playoffs in his first season, Milwaukee prolly thinks that Jennings has peaked. Little do they know, he's actually just blossoming into a star! We're way smarter than them.
STEP THREE: Sign Chris Bosh, Amore Stoutameyer, and Qyntel Woods
Bosh and LaBron are total BFF. LaBron has even said publicly that he would "definitely want to play with my main BFF Chris Bosh" (I'm paraphrasing). This would piss stingyd off, but signing Amore Soutameyer would help. How do the contracts work, you ask? Once Stoutameyer sees LaBron and Chris BFFing it up in NYC, he's going to think "oh shiz, I'll sign for like $4 mil". Donnie agrees and the rest his history. By the way, Qyntel is totally tearing it up in Poland right now, earning Finals MVP honors for Asseco Prokom Sopot.
STEP FOUR: Draft Javaris Navardo (Miss State) and Jordan Crawford (Xavier)
Ok, this one I'm actually serious about. I like both a lot (no homo).
Back to the bullshit...
STEP FIVE: We sign LaBron!
Cleveland is a craphole (lol!). New York has Jay-Z and Sabbathia (also LaBron BFF). I was born in 1999, so I missed the Bulls rivalry, but I know Bullz Suck! I'm not very familiar with the salary cap, but I'm assuming we can pay him more than ne1 else because it's New York, duh!
Final Lineup: PG Braden Jennings, SG LaBron James, SF Cock, PF Chris Bosh, C Amore Stoutameyer
Bench: G Bill Walker, G Jordan Crawford, F Qyntel Woods, F Earl Barron, C Javaris Navardo
Coach: Phil Jax
In all seriousness, everybody needs to chill out. As much as we'd all like to play LeBron-psychiatrist and put on our Donnie Walsh hats (I like to think Donnie GM hat is something like this), it'll still be at least another month before anything significant happens. Let's all try to be rational, and not look like a bunch of 13-year old homers that are cracked out on Red Bull and sleepless nights on the computer going through scenarios on ESPN's NBA Trade Machine.