FanPost

Lets Play A Game Called : Who Would You Punch! NBA Edition.

Times are rough people, everyone is so caught up in what is arguably the biggest free agency since 1996. Posting and Toasting has become a ghost town over the past week. It has an eerie feeling of depression and is no longer the P&T I've come to love so dearly. In order to rid this place of all the horrid sadness it has attracted, I wanted to come up with a fun game of "Who Would You Punch!" When watching basketball games some players rub me the wrong way, sometimes i wonder how fulfilling it would be to lay one of them out with a clean right to the temple. There are also times when i'm watching sportscenter and I have sudden urges to deck one of the analyst and even some reporters. Here is my list of unlucky schmucks that I would enjoy spontaneously attacking if we ever meet face to face. You'll notice I didnt choose the most likely fellows to punch because I wanted to be unique in a sense. You guys cant fight it out in the comments, I'll be hoping to hear who you would like to knock out if you could!

 

  • Player...

Sundiata Gaines, Utah Jazz

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Anyone remember this spectacle? I do. Sundiata Gaines was scouted from the D-League and brought into the NBA to the Utah Jazz. On his first game in the NBA he hit a game winning buzzer beater at home against the Cleveland Cavaliers. After wards he jump and hollered as the confetti fell as if they just won game 7 in the finals. Something about him jumping atop a table, tugging his jersey, screaming into the crowd and acting out as if he was a superstar rubbed me the wrong way. This guy went to finish the season averaging 3.3ppg. If I could soccer kick him in the throat I would. Here are a few players that came close to being in his place : Rajon Rondo, Jerryd Bayless, Greg Oden.

 

  • Coach...

Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs

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Gregg Popabitch... What can I say about the guy? I really dont have any severe hate towards him, besides the fact that everything about his team bores me to death. There's just something about him that yells, "Knock me the hell out" I want to Gregg, I want to. This crater face old fart deserves to be humiliated just because he looks like the tall man from Phantasm. Scary... Here are a few coaches that came close to taking his place : Stan Van Gundy, Mike Woodson, Larry Brown.

 

  • Commentator...

Reggie Miller, TNT

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Oh golly where do I begin!? There is so many reasons to hate this rock chewing A-hole. I'm still not convinced that his horse mouth sister isn't in fact Reggie himself. I seriously put my television on mute whenever he commentates the game and even then i can still hear him yelling for no apparent reason. "WELCOME TO YOUR KODAK MOMENT!" "YOU'VE JUST BEEN POSTERIZED!" Over and over and over again. My hate for him does not come from me being a Knick fan. It comes from those vampire eyes, his loud chaotic voice and for some reason he feels the need to constantly humiliate Charles Barkley because of his weight on live TV. Is that really necessary? We all know Barkley is heavy but do you really need to basically call him a fat ass and cause weird moments of silence on the set? Please get rid of this snake TNT. I'd love to crush his nose with a few knees, anyone with me? Here are some who almost took his place : Mark Jackson, Kenny Smith, Doug Collins.

 

  • Analyst...

Chris Broussard, ESPN, NBA TV

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I know I said I was gonna be unique and not choose any obvious choices but this jackass cant be overlooked. What a retarded piece of shit this guy is. He s the most sorry excuse for an "expert" that I have ever seen. He changes his mind like the weather and none of his reports have any sense or logic put into them. He basically bandwagons the media's take on whatever is going on. He never has a real opinion of his own and spurts out the most ridiculous things. Do I hate him slightly more because he is anti-new york? Yes, but that being said he is still ridiculous in every aspect that is supposed to make him an "expert". Not to mention his teeth, holy hell. How bout me and you play a nice game of jump rope Chris? Here are some that almost took his place : Ric Bucher, David Aldridge, Sekou Smith (Not an analyst but I hate that short fat F**k)

  • Reporter...

 

Shelly Smith, ESPN

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God... Not this pig. This is one I just cant stand anymore. To be completely honest, I didn't have a problem with her until a couple of days ago when she referred to Knicks Coach Mike D'Antoni as Mike Dunleavy. I've always noticed that she was a spitting image of miss piggy but I never had anything against this boar until that comment. I know its a bit cliche to call chubby women miss piggy but hey, I call it like I see it. She showed she clearly knows nothing about basketball after failing to correct herself and she most likely just read off the teleprompter and expected it to be accurate. Can you blame her? I definitely can and I wont let her off the hook for it. Mike Dunleavy... Someone throw some dry rub on this hog and slow cook her for a few hours. I can use a tender pulled pork sandwich right now. Here are some that almost took her place: Suzy Kolber, Rachel Nichols, Sal Paolantonio.

If you have any other category suggestions feel free to mention them. Kick ass my friends.

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