Key Dates on Knicks' Schedule Revealed

Though the official NBA schedules won't be released for another week or so, certain highlights have already leaked their way into print. Via Frank Isola (via a "team source"), here are some dates to circle on your "Just Us Chickens" calendar:

10/27: Knicks at Raptors (Season Opener)

10/30: Knicks vs. Blazers (Home Opener)

12/17: Knicks vs. Heat (B.Y.O. Projectiles)

12/25: Knicks vs. Bulls (Christmas Day on ABC/ESPN)

After the jump, my own team sources have leaked some other key events.

9/23: Amar'e Stoudemire builds a sukkah in the Knicks' locker room. Wilson Chandler finds that he has a taste for gourds.

9/24: Raymond Felton is sidelined from the Knicks' first day of training camp after suffering a pair of "falsified hips" several nights prior.

9/29: Jerome Jordan's birthday party. (Bring a bathing suit! Also, Jerome will only be accepting Webkinz as gifts! If you bring something else, you will be turned away at the door!).

11/7: Andy Rautins forgets to "fall back" for Daylight Savings and shows up to a home game an hour early surprised that nobody's there. Rautins sings the national anthem (as well as "Oh Canada", just for good measure), announces the lineups, and does the tip-off all by himself. He also inserts himself into the starting five and scores 75 points on 24-33 shooting (20-24 from three and, oddly enough, 7-8 from the free throw line) before people actually show up at the arena and Andy realizes he's made a mistake.

11/18: An equipment manager searching for a misplaced sneaker finds Jonathan Bender asleep in a broom closet, decides not to tell anybody.

11/22: Following a minor but somewhat frightening injury, monocles are banned from NBA courts. ("The Kelenna Azubuike Rule").

12/1: To quell rumors that he and Amar'e Stoudemire are clashing, Coach Mik'e D'Anton'i legally adds some more apostrophes to his name.

12/3: In a fit of brotherly one-upmanship, Dan D'Antoni changes his name to ''' ''''''''.

12/26: Danilo Gallinari scores a career-high 55 points in what will forever be known as "The Kwanzaa Klassic".

12/31: Ronny Turiaf attends his first ever New Years Eve in New York City. At midnight, Ronny swats the countdown ball onto 6th Avenue.

1/18: Kelenna Azubuike throws an alley-oop to Timofey Mozgov. Walt Frazier swallows his tongue.

2/3: Out of boredom, Toney Douglas stops doing what Toney Douglas do for exactly 40 seconds. A small meteor shower hits New York City.

2/14: Wilson Chandler eats all of his Valentine's Day candy before gametime, is a DNP because of "Smartie Farts".

2/26: Following a string of breakout performances by the Knicks rookie, Chelsea Piers changes its name to "Landry Fields".

3/6: Team doctors discover a strange lump on Anthony Randolph's abdomen and ask him to sit out that night's game as a precautionary measure.

3/7: Randolph shows up to practice with a full-length and fully functional human arm protruding from his torso.

4/25: An understandably confused James Dolan sends a vicious email to the NBA front office complaining about the fact that the Knicks have played the Heat three times in a row.

4/28: On "Take Your Daughter to Work Day", Bill Walker brings in a juvenile badger that he found and adopted during a Western road trip. The badger wears eyeliner and hoop earrings and is named "Edith".

5/1: Amar'e Stoudemire sets a bonfire in the Knicks' locker room. Nobody knows what Lag BaOmer is. Stoudemire is suspended. Timofey Mozgov gets his first haircut.

Mark your calendars!

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