Video: Iman Shumpert's Vegas Chronicles

I am very, very antsy to watch Iman Shumpert play basketball. As I've said to a few people recently, Shump alone is like 14% of the reason I want this lockout to end. Granted, I'm sure that's how fans of most teams feel about their rookies (although I can guarantee that's not the case for the folks at Liberty Ballers). Other rookies, though, don't have as much value during the lockout. Ours dunks and raps and snacks on caesar salads and wins comically small amounts of money at casino games. Take the jump for Iman Shumpert's auto-documentary of his time in Vegas starring Iman Shumpert, directed by Iman Shumpert, and featuring an original soundtrack by iMan Shumpert.

First, the film:

Iman Shumpert on WhoSay

And now a breakdown of what you just saw/what you opted not to watch because you're at work or are observing some sort of unusual technology sabbath:

0:00-  Shump shows off his new haircut and coins the term "video log swag". "Vlog swag" will come, but we're probably not there yet.

0:15- Sneakers. Hope he didn't actually have to give them up. Not sure why exactly he'd have to give them up.

0:31- Shump kicks some knowledge regarding his reasons for owning two iPhones: "Having two phones is more like Serena Williams and Eva Asderaki". That is a SNIPE of a name-drop. Somewhere, Eva Asderaki has no idea her name has been invoked by a professional basketball player. Also, point taken.

1:53- SHUMP LEVITATES. HE IS A WARLOCK. Also, rappin' over "Electric Feel".

2:02- No need to apologize. Everybody liks Chipotle. Also, I would really love to have a hype man for when I eat burritos.

2:27- Shump and Derrick Caracter pay their respects to the MGM Grand lion.

2:47- $0.35 ≠ $35,000,000.

2:56- Shumpert wields a stack of dollar bills in preparation for "something crazy". Probably about to get a ton of snacks from the vending machine or something.

3:00- Highlights, rappin'.

3:32- Some bald friend in a shiny shirt doin' sassy dances. Phunny indeed.

4:00- Shump-Shump eatin' a caesar salad, drankin' water. Shump-Shump champions the merits of cold water, even from the faucet. No disagreement here.

4:54- Highlights/Vegas scenery, rappin'.

5:40- Laser robo-ninja turtle?

5:56- Highlights, rappin'.

And those are Shump's Vegas chronicles. Thank you, Mr. Shump, and please keep making videos. It's all we've got right now.