Amar'e Stoudemire had his birthday party at a seafood tower.
Somehow, I neglected to mention yesterday that it was Amar'e Stoudemire's birthday. For that, I apologize and wish Amar'e a happy belated 29th. Being a curious little cooter, I often wonder how rich, famous professional athletes spend their birthdays. With the exception of Toney Douglas, I've long envisioned athlete birthday parties to be just like my own, only they're allotted more tokens and pizza at Discovery Zone and cry less after the fact. Nowadays, Twitter, which I will once again proclaim to be my saving grace during the lockout, has actually given us a window into the activities of the birthday baller.
So how did Amar'e celebrate? Well, Twitter tells us he was at Catch, which research tells me is a "tri-level seafood tower" in the Meatpacking District that boasts a former Top Chef champion as its chef-in-chief (Do they say that? I hope they do.). A SEAFOOD TOWER? That's so much better than Discovery Zone. I'm picturing a giant, adult version of DZ conceived by Poseidon, Long John Silver, and Willy Wonka's brother Krilly Wonka. It's got giant turrets made of clams, swinging rope bridges studded with barnacles, a crab pit instead of a ball pit, and because it's Amar'e, mountains and mountains of fish fingers. It sounds magical, albeit treif as shit (though, to be fair, we know from the previously linked article that Amar'e loosens up his dietary restrictions for special occasions).
What else do we know from Twitter? Well, we know that Amar'e's good friend Fabolous, who turns 34 tomorrow, was celebrating alongside him. We know that Iman Shumpert showed up (great to see Knicks getting together, even if it's just to shoot each other with scallop cannons). And we know that Amar'e wore a very festive Halloween costume to the event. Excellent.
So, that's how Amar'e Stoudemire spent his birthday. Now we know. Happy birthday, once more, to Amar'e. May the coming year be full of glee and hopefully some basketball. You too, Fabolous.
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speaking of traif
this place is awesome! http://traifny.com/
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I pictured a full size Leaning Tower of Pisa
And when you looked close it was made entirely of crustaceans and fish of assorted sizes, a couple of whales thrown in and octopus arms weaving the structure together. In my vision it was surrounded by a moat filled with tartar sauce.
My uncle was on "Top Chef Masters" and got second place.
He specializes in Seafood. I wonder if he was one of the guys who was there?
Actually, the more I think of it, my uncle actually owns and operates a multi-level seafood tower in Las Vegas.
It’s weird that there are multiple multi-level seafood towers anywhere in the world.
I thought Amar'e was supposed to be like a fashionista
Those shoes with that suit? If I put that in my Cosmo fashion app it’d probably be a D-minus
Not as fun as you may think
For those of you thinking that Seth’s imaginary
crab pit instead of a ball pit
sounds awesome (granted: there may not be many of you thinking that), I’ll just let you know that I’ve had crab pit before and it’s not all that fun. They’re tough to get rid of, and itchy as all Hell.
"Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things." --Jack Burton (Big Trouble in Little China)
this is exactly the sort of news i need to hear
thank you seth, you’ve made my day!
Shump!!
Is it weird to like a player this much when he hasn’t even played an NBA game yet?

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