P&T Lockout Lifestylez: Board Games
During this horrible, terrible lockout, we at P&T will use our free time to get to know each other better and learn from one another by sharing the non-Knicks aspects of our beings. As often as I can manage, we'll take on a new topic and whatever nonsense comes with it.
Today's topic: Board games.
I don't think of myself as a big board game person. Maybe a medium board game person. I didn't grow up around many board games, perhaps because my mom has an utterly inexplicable hatred for them (my theory is that she was terrorized by Rich Uncle Pennybags as a youngster). Our house staple was always Scrabble, which I enjoyed until my little brother's skills overtook my own by a long shot. (I would guess-- and I'm really not exaggerating-- that he is now one of the best Scrabble players on the planet). Here are some other board games I have played and enjoyed:
Candyland
LIFE
Trouble (at my grandma's house. My mom would never let us have it because it was WAY too loud).
Chess/Checkers/Backgammon (or, as I originally typed, "Badminton")
Battleship
Trivial Pursuit
Guess Who?
Don't Wake Daddy (a terrifying game)
Gooey Louie (criminally underrated. There aren't enough board games with boogers out there.)
Mancala (I had a computer game called "Strategy Games of the World". I can't tell you how many times I've lost to a burly ship's captain in mancala).
I'm sure I've played more, but those stick out in my head as pleasant experiences. I've never had the patience for Risk (I just end up putting the little army people in my hair and/or eating them.) or Monopoly (I just end up robbing people at gunpoint).
Most recently, I've discovered the Settlers of Catan. Here is a fact about Settlers of Catan: it is the best game. It was introduced to me in college, and I now own my own board and play pretty frequently online. It actually has a lot of the same qualities as Risk and Monopoly, but it's just a lot better. I've taught a lot of folks to play it, and they all loved it. It is the best. The point of this post was about 75% to see if any of y'all are settlers.
RELEVANT QUESTIONS
- What's your favorite board game? What's your BEST board game?
- Do you settle Catan?
- Did you ever own board games that were too confusing to actually play, but had pieces that made great toys?
- Any EPIC board game stories?
- How do you define "board game"? Is Scattergories a board game, even though it doesn't have any board?
RELEVANT KNICKS CONTENT
A Scattergories card, as completed by Jared Jeffries (the letter is "R"):
Vegetables: Rutabaga
States: Rhode Island
Things You Throw Away: Rotten rutabaga rinds
Occupations: Rapping rutabaga reaper
Appliances: Rutabaga cooker
Cartoon characters: Roger Rabbit
Types of drink: Rutabaga nectarMusical groups: Reel 2 Real
Store names: Rutabagas "R" Us
Things at a football game: Ray Rice
Trees: Rutabaga tree
Personality traits: Rowdiness
Points awarded: 19 (Shelden Williams also answered "Rutabaga nectar").
RELEVANT VIDEO CONTENT
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You don't like Monopoly?
Man, me and my cousins used to get together an play hours of epic monopoly. In the beginning, it was standard Monopoly, following most of the rules, et cetera.
When me and my cousin were about 10, we played Mafia monopoly. We did things like have intense negotiation sessions, gamble on dice rolls, set up and expand criminal territory, strong arm tenants and extort each other. A typical monopoly game lasted an entire day, and expanded beyond the scope of the board game. We would have “business meetings” over lunch. I would kidnap his action figures and hold them for ransom. Occasionally we would straight up play go-fish with property at stake. It was awesome and crazy.
In fact I guess we weren’t playing Monopoly at all half the time but it was still a ridiculous amount of fun.
I also love me some Clue, I always dominated. I asked the right questions, threw in red herrings and played mind games with my family members.
My worst board game is Pictionary. Screw pictionary. I cant draw for shit and I just cant handle the pressure man, everyones screaming random things and they’re all wrong and you trying your best and you’re swearing and the tears are flowing down your face and you cant breathe because you dont know how to express what you you want to say and you just hit that downward spiral and you dont know what purpose you serve or what you’re good for or why you even exist and then you look back at yourself and see that you’re just a failure and your father was right, you’re a good for nothing loser, and your mother was right, you should never have married her, and your teachers were right, you never applied yourself and then you stop amid the noise and look back at all the opportunities you lost and wonder what happened to your life and then you realize it all happened because the one part that kept you stable, the one facet of your existence that gave you happiness, was lost to you in the year 2011 and you realize that all that is wrong in the world happened BECAUSE THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION AND PLAYERS ASSOCIATION COULD NOT REACH AN AGREEMENT.
Ahem. Also, I like checkers.
by DonMoosavi on Nov 22, 2011 7:08 PM EST reply actions 5 recs
dude
don’t fear the reaper
"Maybe I’m old school," Nash said, "but I signed a contract to play here and I want to honor it. I feel like I owe it to my teammates and the city and everybody to keep battling until they tell me it’s time to go." STEVE (God of Basketball) NASH
I just gotta know
You married your mother?
"Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things." --Jack Burton (Big Trouble in Little China)
I've stopped playing Monopoly
My issue with it is that I’m usually playing with people I like, but the only way to win is to bankrupt everyone else. There’s no such thing as a close Monopoly game – it’s all or nothing. So even if you win you kind of feel like shit.
Maybe not technically a board game...
But Connect Four has always been a favorite of mine. A lot more strategy involved than you’d think, it’s like an expanded tic-tac-toe. I probably should never have a kid, because I would absolutely crush their soul at it. One crazy game that comes to mind is Mouse Trap. A Rube Goldberg contraption that took about a half hour to set up, and oftentimes the mechanism wouldn’t even work properly. I think I might have played the actual board game one time, usually the time was spent just setting the thing up and making sure it worked right.
The only common one I can’t stand is Battleship, just not enough strategy or pretty colors to distract me. When I was real young I enjoyed this one matching game called Hūsker Dū. Also, and again we’re I’m stretching the definition of “board game” here, but Don’t Break the Ice is also an old favorite of mine (way better than its sister game, Ants in the Pants.)
LOL
Board games are outdated for me. I’ll play scrabble with the mom and grandma on vacations though.
Vidya games Seth.
Realist.
board games
outdate no one. You’re just too young to understand the awesomeness of a night chilled out with friends, wine and board games.
by Slappinfaces on Nov 23, 2011 9:51 AM EST up reply actions
not that
a few hours of MW3 isnt a blast or anything…get merked noob
by Slappinfaces on Nov 23, 2011 9:52 AM EST up reply actions
<3 board games
I dominate Monopoly and Scrabble, not so much with other ones. My favorite is Risk. It’s hard to get enough people to make that commitment though.
Stainer of mountaintops.
And making Ukraine a stronghold is always a high priority for me.
Stainer of mountaintops.
by Chairman Meow on Nov 22, 2011 8:46 PM EST up reply actions
ukraine is game to you?

"it's not easy being green"-kermit the frog
"we the mets are an improved ball club, now we lose in extra innings"-casy stengel
i cant spell a nosebleed
The Official Seinfeld Gif-Man of GGN!!!!!!!!
i'm a moderator for GGN. I will accept tribute.
I love Risk
I used to play with my girlfriend. Once I was really killing here. I had thousands of those little green army cubes. I guess I was giggling a little too much because she picked up the board and threw it at me. I kept finding those little cubes around the house for years.
Cosign.
On the Risk being great part, not the girlfriend launching the board at you part. Only issue is that Risk — like Monopoly — is a pretty serious time investment. My buddies and I like to get a big bottle of bourbon, which we feel helps us mimic the emotional instability of actual field generals.
Growing up, our neighborhood crew would have some pretty epic Risk marathons. For some reason, my brother would always go after Africa. Eventually, he’d back all of his troops into Madagascar, because he loved vanilla and Madagascar is known for its vanilla plantations. Amazingly, that logic one him more than a few games. We refused to take the move seriously, until he took a two-hour turn and would end up seizing half the planet. Drove me fucking nuts. Although not nearly as nuts as the time he successfully defended on something like 20 straight rolls when I tried to attach Alaska from Kamchatka. It was surreal.
your right, it is a big time commitment
The Madagascar strategy is pretty bizarre. I would always go for North America.
you cant repeat the same word in scattergories like that
only one of those rutabaga answers would count.
Jarred Jeffries would know that, dude is stickler for the rules. I call shenanigans!
I think it was Bobby V who said: "You are never as good as you are when you are at your best, and you are not as bad as when you are at your worst."
Like the really funny uncle with a healthy bourbon habit who matches every brilliant Thanksgiving story with one or two ill-advised racist jokes or boob grabs, we’re stuck with Melo. So we might as well learn to love him — quirks and all. http://knickerblogger.net/2011-report-card-carmelo-anthony/
In my younger and more vulnerable years, I really like Rat Trap. I never actual played the game (did anyone?) but liked setting up the trap, despite it’s high tendency to malfunction.
As for Monopoly, I’ll defer to Dane Cook.
Candyland
I used to be a camp counselor. One day, I was playing candyland against a 4-year-old kid who I didn’t really like, and he started talking shit to me because he was winning. So when he looked the other way (because 4 year olds have short attention spans), I found a card that would make him go back to the start, and moved it to the top of the deck. You should’ve seen the look on his face. It was gold, Jerry! Gold!
Sadly, the above story is 100% true.
One time in camp I rigged a deck of cards
so that I got two royal flushes in a row. I won so much food off that kid.
Connect 4!
I mean, if that can be considered a board game. Other favorites include Monopoly, Pachisi & Trouble. There might be more but I’ve forgotten.. vidya games have rotted my brains.
DWTDD Presses the steal button!
Did this dude just did this?
I've been meaning to try Settlers!
I’ve never heard a single person have a single negative thing to say about it
It has a huge luck component
That’s usually the major knock against it, and that it’s a pretty simple game so people tend to view it as more of an introduction from which people eventually move on to more involved euro-style games. Still great fun though, especially since it’s so accessible.
Every person who's ever met me thinks I'd be really good at chess.
When I was little I was in gifted education and they used to get me to play chess against other kids and adults. I’m fucking awful at chess. However, I’m pretty good at monopoly and scrabble. Also, Battleship is fun if you don’t play it for awhile and then pick it up.
I can’t stand Risk. No patience.
I can recall winning one game of chess in my life, now that I think about it.
Holy shit, I’m fucking bad at chess.
i actually was Junior High School champion
they had a chess club and this Russian guy who was ranked taught us. I remember he played two of us at once blind folded and destroyed us. In the school club tournament me and my opponent were at a stalemate so he flipped a coin and i won. Damn i feel weird reliving this. I’m not that good anymore but can hold my own
by blackhova on Nov 23, 2011 9:27 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
saw the headline... had to chime in.
first of all, well done guys on sticking it out and staying connected. i check in periodically for signs of life.
and now regarding board games… i’m gonna geek it up.
the fix that’s getting me through this lockout is GAME OF THRONES card game, which i consider a board game simply because of the reaction i get from my wife… and that’s one of sheer “ur such a geek”.
my best board game moment? playing an epic 5 hour game of RISK (the future version where you can conquer sea and space territories) and finally winning because of the noxious gas i kept passing which seemed to both dull the wits of my opponents and compel them to make stupid moves just to be able to get out of the room sooner.
hang in there guys…
the meta-game
I like it
Fish Fingers give me a break.
by GAx on Nov 23, 2011 9:14 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm carrying an undefeated streak in Stratego into my 20s
BRING IT. Shaking off the rust ain’t nothing, it’s only been about 12 years.
My favorite game is chess, but I’m pretty bad at it. Becoming good at chess is one of those goals I’ve neglected since the moment I conceived of it. I like Scrabble and RISK too… and did anyone else play Sequence? That game was the shit!
board games >>>>>>>> video games
TYBG
I PLAYED SEQUENCE
holly banana sperm i forgot all about that! that game is under my bed
by blackhova on Nov 23, 2011 9:21 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
I make my girlfriend play Arkham Horror with me
So what if games take 4-5 hours and it’s the most horrible nerdy shit ever, I’ll be damned if I’m going to kill elder gods all by my lonesome.
ohhhh shit...
we just got that and are studying up now. looks SICK.
anyone play BATTLESTAR GALACTICA? so fresh.
by bucketsncents on Nov 24, 2011 8:52 AM EST up reply actions
Have none of you ever played Sorry?
That game changed the social landscape of my 4th grade class forever, and battle lines were drawn that produced bitter consequences for an entire marking period.
Fish Fingers give me a break.
i had the Home Alone 2 board game
dont ask me how it was played, i just remember it was pretty fun and i wanted to play it everyday. i loved Guessters, the one with the movie thing, and i like this other game but i dont remember the name, all i remember is you had to place odds like 2 to 1 or 4 to 1 and if you were right you get all the money. Its “something Money” ahhh when i get home i’ll see it and write it
by blackhova on Nov 23, 2011 9:19 AM EST via mobile reply actions
anyone ever play dark tower?
it had this malevalent electronic tower in the middle of the board that did some shit. i don’t remember what.
also i once played strip mouse trap against the girl next door in maybe 6th grade. awkwardly her younger brother insisted on playing too. (it did not lead to the breakthrough i was hoping for.). risk was at my nana’s and there would be fierce cousin battles. and nerdtastically, a friend had axis and allies, which i enjoyed. i would be japan. and does yahtzee count? i love that game.
by old 34 on Nov 23, 2011 3:58 PM EST via mobile reply actions
only if jenga does
"Maybe I’m old school," Nash said, "but I signed a contract to play here and I want to honor it. I feel like I owe it to my teammates and the city and everybody to keep battling until they tell me it’s time to go." STEVE (God of Basketball) NASH
When my brother and I were kids
Sorry! was our favorite board game. I remember making my brother cry when I beat him badly this one time.
my best game, and favorite game, is scrabble
although, if poker counts, i may have to reconsider.
but i did play scattergories today, and i never knew how important it was to bluff in that game until now. one of my opponents unveiled this brilliant strategy: instead of leaving a blank, write something random and say that it’s from Africa. no one knows enough about Africa to ever call you out on it, especially if you’re a convincing liar.
by latrell chokewell on Nov 24, 2011 12:06 AM EST reply actions

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