Pre-Game Reconnaissance: Knicks vs. Celtics- 12/25/11
by Seth on Dec 25, 2011 8:46 AM EST
in Pre-Game Reconnaissance
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PrintBasketball has returned. Do you have any idea who the "Celtics" are? I don't.
What's up with the Celtics?
From Jeff Clark of CelticsBlog:
Well, it is a little hard to sum up all that happened in the abbreviated offseason, but if you take out all the drama and rumors, the Celtics did about what most people thought they would. They added depth to the bench and will run back the Big 3 and Rondo, hoping to squeeze one more championship out of that core. Where things go after that is anyone's guess, and if rumors can be believed, Danny won't hesitate to make big changes if he thinks it will help him in the short and long term. In the immediate future, it looks like Paul Pierce might miss the opener against the Knicks and the team is looking to sign waived free agent Mickael Peitrus to shore up the wing (doubtful that he'd be available for opening day).
The Celtics have indeed signed Pietrus since Jeff wrote this. He won't play.
Meet the new Celtics!
Brandon Bass- Brandon is a bit puzzled by his new nickname, "Smaller, Remarkably More Chiseled Baby".
Keyon Dooling- Keyon asked to be traded to the Celtics mainly so he could have regular access to South Station, where he's already been spotted running face-first into walls in hopes of finding Hogwarts (where he intends to sign his next long-term contract).
E'Twaun Moore and JaJuan Johnson- These two Purdue friends insisted on being drafted by the same team so they could continue their years-long debate over whether the rule is "A" before "U", except after "JaJ" or "U" before "A", except after "E'Tw".
Greg Stiemsma- Since joining the Celtics, Greg has been forced by teammate Kevin Garnett to operate and maintain the team's sauna room. When asked to explain his demands, Garnett responded "Greg? Oh, yeah, that's that guy that steams muh!".
Chris Wilcox- Chris is just here to hoard pastries and would rather not play any basketball if that's all right.
Mike Bibby, Locker Room Presence
Mike Bibby: [bursts through door] OHHHH, what's swagging, swags!? Y'all ready to swag the Celtics?Toney Douglas: Mike, what the hell are you saying?
Mike Bibby: Oh, it's the swag master, Toney Douglas! How hard are you gonna swag the Celtics today, Toney?
Toney Douglas: I don't--
Mike Bibby: You're gonna swag Rajon Rondo so hard, Toney. So hard. Rajon Rondo is not a swag. NOT a swag. Not like you are, Toney.
Toney Douglas: Mike, I don't think you're--
Mike Bibby: TONEY SWAG-LAS! The swaggregator! The Legend of Swagger Vance! Jeff Swagwell! Swag! SWAG!
Toney: You're not using that word correc--
Mike Bibby: SWAG! SWAAAAAAG!
Toney: --...correctly. Well, actually that right there is closer to the proper usage.
Renaldo Balkman's Pre-Game Recipe
Peanut Butter and Licorice Sandwiches on Warm Fruit Pastries
Ingredients:
One package Strawberry/Strawberry Milkshake/Wildlicious Wild Strawberry Pop-Tarts
Two stalks Twizzlers Watermelon Pull N' Peel
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
Pop Rocks to taste
1. Remove Pop-Tarts from packaging, lay side-by-side on a flat surface, then sit on them to warm (microwave/toaster take too long). Breathe hot air on to tarts as needed.
2. Once tarts are warmed to desired temperature, spread peanut butter on the flat underside of one tart.
3. Pull and peel both stalks of Pull N' Peel so that they are divided into many thin strands. Lay strands lengthwise atop the layer of peanut butter.
4. Sprinkle Pop Rocks to taste.
5. Top with other tart, serve immediately.
Imeme Shumpert
Who's the douchiest Celtic?
THE NOMINEES, assembled with the help of Google's commonest queries:
VERDICT: Kevin Garnett is the douchiest Celtic.
And now you're ready for the Celtics!
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Comments
Finally Knicks bball is back!
Was supposed to go to game today, but it’s xmas…so I’m a little sick about that..
My vote for douchiest Celt would be Pierce. Something about him just breathes slimeball and douchebag and obnoxious….(the running around the court after the game winner last year)
Garnett talks alot of shit on the court…and will go down as one of the best PF ever…he’s an intense guy, like a Ray Lewis type. I just don’t seem him as more of a doucher!
You just got Tysoned!!!!!!
Does it matter who's douchiest?
What matters is that three of their big four are complete douches. The only way the Celtics get any douchier is if Shaq comes out of retirement.
by superturboultra on Dec 25, 2011 9:04 AM EST up reply actions
i would have to agree with Seth, or should i say Google
i respect Pierce. from what he’s done (and not just to us) he’s earned my respect. Garnett, well we’ll just leave it at “Douche”
Garnett is not just a douche
He’s got a cape with a “D” on the back.
__________________________________________________
"He who gets the best players usually wins" - Bobby Bowden
That's a funny writeup Seth
I haven’t been this pumped for a Knicks-Celtics X-Mas game since Patrick Ewing played power forward.
__________________________________________________
"He who gets the best players usually wins" - Bobby Bowden
Some points before the game (which I will sadly miss because of a fucking plane ride that has to be at 11:30 >:| )
-Shump should be ready to get big minutes. Rondo had his way with Douglas in the playoffs (I know TD was injured but I still don’t like this match up) (giggity) and I think D’Antoni should throw Shump at him to try to contain him. Big task for a rookie, but I think Iman is ready!
-Tyson should get some open looks. He’ll either have the undersized Bass, Garnett or Jermaine on him… I know he doesn’t score for himself, but he’s a good finisher so lets hope the guys get him the ball a little.
-Landry shall look for revenge against the decaying Cs
-Melo and Amare should play like STAT and Melo (not respectively obviously, actually if they wanna switch nicknames fine)
and HAPPY HOLIDAYS (x-mas, chanukah, kwanza, etc.) to my fam at posting and toasting
Looking forward to Toney getting some revenge
He was seriously beat up in that series, and had no realistic back-up option so he couldn’t even foul. He still has no realistic back-up, but at least now he’s not hurt.
by superturboultra on Dec 25, 2011 9:06 AM EST up reply actions
Also I'm looking forward to Tyson knocking KG on his ass
“See, Jared, THAT’S how you defend him.”
by superturboultra on Dec 25, 2011 9:09 AM EST up reply actions
Wow!
Best pregame writeup ever! It’s about time they hired a college graduate to do these.
I'm the fan formerly known as Serious Garbage Time
by Bernard King's Game Face on Dec 25, 2011 9:04 AM EST reply actions
BUT WHAT DOES THE COACH LOOK LIKE???
by superturboultra on Dec 25, 2011 9:05 AM EST up reply actions
I am away from my crayons
But I think I’m going to do a different crayon feature this season, since I’ve already drawn many of the coaches. I’ll think of summin else.
Mike Woodson having a convo with the facial hair of all the Knicks, sans actual players... about facial hair defense
"If it ain't broke, don't break it." -Charles Oakley
by Tony Marciano on Dec 25, 2011 11:30 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
watch for Bass in this one tho
Wide PF’s sometimes give amare issues. Can see him having a decent game today.
You just got Tysoned!!!!!!
Iman A Boat
i don’t think I’ve laughed so hard early in the morning in…… EVER!!! and happy holidays to everyone
Imeme Shumpert is genius.
This as all great though. I’m so glad this is back.
can't wait for the game so pumped up man!!
Victory goes to the courageous!!
heck yeah
been listening to Edd Kalehoff’s “Drive” all day
by PinoyKnickFan on Dec 25, 2011 10:52 AM EST up reply actions
Can it get any better than this?
Classic, Seth, classic.
by espnsucks ((banned)) on Dec 25, 2011 9:48 AM EST reply actions
I wonder what assortment of pastries Chris has assembled?!?
I hope he’s found sfogliatelle! My fav!
Last night, a comedian died in New York. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows
because it made the least sense
lets not get sensitive
#SO_ND CL_SH
Ur like a little kid
if you really think my intention was to bash muslims than Im not even going to respond to u because it would be a waste of time.
#SO_ND CL_SH
Damn
JPP is really making a name for himself when a Cowboy fan can admit a Giant player is really good.
Freedom is a road seldom traveled by the multitudes...
appreciate it dude, 2 out of 3? that's okay in my book... :)
VOTE
FOR
JPP
ONLY WAY
HE GOES TO
PRO BOWL in
HAWAII
oh ho!
tabacalera?
When we win the championship, I’m definitely smoking one of those! (and I don’t smoke!)
by PinoyKnickFan on Dec 25, 2011 10:26 AM EST up reply actions
BACK AND BETTE THAN EVER SETH!
HAHAHAH HOHOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS ERR KNICKMAS!!! AHAH!
GO YANKEES, COWBOYS, AND KNICKS!
Well done Seth.
Your work through the lockout and preseason has been consistently excellent. Looking forward to this season very much. Thanks, and keep it up.
Pierce
is easily the biggest Douche of the 3
Proud member of the fire Brian Schottenheimer club
"Grunt and Punt offense"
"To all the nonbelievers..."
You knew the game when you got into it
"Planing for Manning"
by Jadden Hopkins on Dec 25, 2011 10:58 AM EST reply actions
they're the enemy, so they're all douches
Time to flush them down the toilet
by PinoyKnickFan on Dec 25, 2011 10:59 AM EST up reply actions
Thanks for the kind words, folks
And apologies to anybody who, like my mom, confused the google results for something I wrote myself.
by Seth on Dec 25, 2011 10:59 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
ya know
i’ve been thinking about this.
we got Carmelo Amar’e and Tyson
and of course there’s big cats… and the c.a.t. tests i had to take as a youngster.
/// aighttho.com \/// twitter.com/aighttho \
I used to remember...
Run TMC (Tim, Mitch and Chris) of the Warriors and BMW (Byron Magic Worthy)
by PinoyKnickFan on Dec 25, 2011 11:17 AM EST up reply actions
Ha Ha
1973 had the Rolls Royce Backcourt, now we got the Fabulous Frontline
by PinoyKnickFan on Dec 25, 2011 11:16 AM EST up reply actions
i love me some Clyde
but God how i’ve missed hearing Marv… YESS!!
by blackhova on Dec 25, 2011 11:13 AM EST via mobile reply actions
A great sit down interview with Stat
http://www.nba.com/video/channels/nba_tv/2011/12/23/one_on_one_w_ahmad_a_block.nba/?ls=iref:nbahpt1
Freedom is a road seldom traveled by the multitudes...
Marquis Daniels wearing an orange headband
either he wishes he was a Knick or his defensive tactic was to confuse us from the neck up
by blackhova on Dec 25, 2011 11:52 AM EST via mobile reply actions
bars open on christmas in manhattan?
Anyone know any decent bars open today televising the game?
pretty certain
anywhere you are within 3 blocks will have a bar and the game.
/// aighttho.com \\/// twitter.com/aighttho \\
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