Know the Prospect *GM EDITION*: Kevin Pritchard

With the departure of the sure-handed, straight-shooting Donald Walsh, our front office has a Death Star sized crater left in the middle of it. Glen Grunwald was pushed into the oval office in the interim. Thankfully, Donnie is still around for the time being, and will contribute to the draft process. There are many prospects out there and i would like to take some time to look at few of them. My guess is that we will not name a new President/General Manager until after the Collective Bargaining Agreement has been settled or (hashem forbid) the lockout has concluded.

Unfortunately for your reading pleasure, I completely lack enthusiasm in any capacity, and am entirely filled with vitriol. Nevertheless I will attempt to provide a marginally informative -albeit drab and tedious- description of some of the bigger names in the Front Office Free Agent Pool (FOFAP).


I would like to kick off this 47-part series with one of the most notorious characters in the FOFAP-mosphere, Kevin Pritchard. This natural wheeler and dealer spent the majority of his front office decision-making with the Trail Blazers, who are consistently one of the deepest (despite being most injured) teams in the league. He has been out of the league for a bit, and has been seen in the kitchen inspecting the fruit, and showing signs of rust. Despite floating on the perimeter, he has maintained an upbeat resolve, and will get his opportunity sooner (double-entendre alert) or later. It ain't shit wrong with biding your time.


However, you may have a problem...





Kevin Lee Pritchard was born in Bloomington, Indiana, July 17th, 1967. That was the year of the goat, he's a Cancerian. He started off like many young babies, unable to walk. Before long he was a dumb kid wishing he could one day become a superstar in the NBA. He grew up a bunch and managed to become the starting point guard for the Kansas Jayhawks when they won the NCAA championship in 1988 beating the (1 seed, Southeast) Oklahoma Sooners. The Jayhawks were the 6th seed in the midwest division that year, and were spearheaded by the Demon Coach himself, Lawrence Brown. The assistant coaches were an interesting bunch. Royal Crown Buford (long-heralded San Antonio Spurs General Manager), Alvin Gentry (journeyman coach) and Greg Popazits (the tough as nails, better-when-bearded, head coach of the Santa Anna Spurns). His most notable teammate was Danny Manning. They were in a doo-wop group together, called "Danny and The Miracles". Kevin was a tenor.



Height: 6'3"

Guess the Weight: the guy looks reasonably fit, although heavy-limbed, little bit of belly... i'll go with 230

Projected Draft Position: Pritchard always comes out on top at the draft. Every year as the Blazers GM he seemed to have more 2nd round picks than the knicks had in the past decade.

Actually Drafted Position: 34th overall, Golden State Warriors, 1990 NBA Draft


This fella is a lot like Sam Presti, the Oklahoma City Thunder GM. Stocks up on picks, makes brutality-laden trades, and develops the team ergonomically. Constantly adding depth, and making wise decisions at all junctures. Not every transaction is perfect (Greg Oden showed his dick, Andre Miller showed his age), but every move has pushed progress on the team, and the Blazers consistently won 50+ games despite having more injuries than Eddy Curry and Jerome James put together!!

The Clyde Factor

I think Clyde will pull this one off. But he might make the "itch" more of an "each". Kevin Preachered. He might slip up, though, and drop a Perchered. Kevin, picking and licking; trading and masquerading.

Cool Stuff

-Kevin was so awesome at making lopsided trades in his favor that his transactions garnered the label "pritch-slap". Like when he traded Randy Foye for Brandon Roy, it went on to be considered a pritch-slap, same thing when he traded that yutz Tyrus Thomas for the ever-budding talent LaMarcus Aldridge.

-Kevin is on the board of directors for the Friends of the Children charity. Which is kind of a silly sounding charity, but they seem to be a group that goes to all corners of the world helping, in various capacities, children that live in struggling communities such as Chernobyl, Myanmar and San Francisco.

-There is a "famous wind-surfer", who shares the same name. I think.

Actual List of Transactions

here's every transaction this fool ever made

Punk Ass Amateur List of Transactions

-Made the trade that inspired Gus Johnson to pause Spike Lee

-Signed the NBA's first player named "Danilo", Danilo Peacock

-Had the stones to draft Joey Dorsey

-Tried to sign Paul Millsap; got stuck with Andre Miller

-Traded Steve Blake and Travis Outlaw for Marcus Camby... I mean, come on!


Let's go to the video:

Kevin Pritchard Unplugged (via blazersrev)- booooorrriiiiiinnngggg.

1988 NCAA Basketball Championship (via ncaaondemand) -he's in there somewhere.


Kevin Pritchard training in Gran Canaria (via us3kp)- this dude is fuckin rippin it, dude



Things to Take Away

-He knows how to spot truly NBA-worthy talent, no matter where he is selecting in the draft.

-He is criticized as being a front office prima dona.

-He constantly racks up second round draft choices.

-He would garner a ton of respect for the Knicks organization, showing that Dolan truly wants success.

-The guy eats bitches alive in trades. 


Final Thoughts

Pritchard is the high profile guy. He will have a job somewhere, and he has clearly been holding out for the perfect opportunity (turned down the Hornets job last year). There are a few openings he may go after/may go after him, including the Trail Blazers. Portland very un-cerimoniously fired him one hour before his last draft. So he might fleece them in a trade for his services. Like a 7-footer who can rebound and block shots, without clogging the lane, he is very adept at providing seemingly unlimited depth to his teams via end of the round picks, and draft day trades. It seems like exactly the type of guy the team needs, someone who can give us a  couple Nicolas Batum's and Patty Mills', and really fill out our roster with talent worthy of playing time. I hope James Dolan recognizes this and reaches out to the guy, he fits the bill in every way imaginable. I fear that its too late, and Dolan already knows what he wants to do, and it's wildly unimpressive. Something like hiring Glenn Grunwald for pennies on the dollar and hoping for the best.


More to come...

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