FanPost

Your New York Knichimeras

It is my carefully considered analysis that this team won't be able to finish the season undefeated without tapping into the advantages provided by amoral scientific procedures. So, inspired by this comment, I have set out to perfect the roster from pieces we already have.

Now is the time to settle the debate, what two (or more) Knicks would you combine into a New York Knichimera, and why? Here are but three Knichimeras from the literally hundreds of possible combinations.

Our first subject combines the sweet shooting of Steve Novak and the suffocating defense of Iman Shumpert. Let's call him Shumpvak (see below)

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Lookin' good, Steve.

via i.imgur.com

Now, there would be obvious basketball reasons to deploy the Shumpvak. But locker room presence is also paramount to NBA success. Pablo Prigioni has 15 years of professional basketball under his belt, but... there's a language barrier. Rasheed Wallace is known leaguewide for his gift of gab. By overlapping one's weakness with another's strength, ¡Wallocura! will let the already veteran-rich Knicks tap into a new source of basketball secrets.

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Comes with hyper-realistic white patch.

via i.imgur.com

Finally, it's no secret that the Knicks' Achilles' heel (or is it just a sprained ankle?) is a difficulty with accurate injury diagnoses. Does Roger Hinds need his eyes checked? No. He needs to have them replaced by the most famous peepers on the roster. Dr. Kurtinds is the only trainer in the league who can look at an MRI of a knee and an ankle at the same time. Behold:

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I know, Amar'e. It's weird.

via i.imgur.com

OK! So there it is. In addition to reaping the benefits of the combined talents of our roster, we will also be opening up a roster spot (Oscar Bellurna?). Please, speculate with me. Contribute your own combinations. If you are so inclined, here is the website I used for the trick photography. If you are not, don't hesitate to rattle off a few ideas and maybe someone else will mash up your Knichimera for you. Let's get cracking! The possibilities are endless!

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