Carmelo Anthony is afraid of cats.
by Seth on Feb 2, 2012 12:21 PM EST
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PrintThis post stems entirely from this entertaining but woefully unembeddable video. It's one of those things where two overdressed babies interview the Knicks, and it's pretty great. Here it is again if you'd like to watch it before reading my incisive analysis. I'll give you a minute.
Okay, ready for the incisive analysis? Let's begin.
- Predictably, most Knicks would salsa if they scored a touchdown in football. Bill Walker thinks the Funky Chicken is an example of something that is "hilarious" and Landry Fields's idea-- to just stare blankly into the crowd until it gets really uncomfortable for everybody-- is EXACTLY what I would do except he forgot to mention the part where you mime masturbating.
- Landry Fields is afraid of spiders. Bill Walker is afraid of mice. Carmelo Anthony is afraid of cats. Right on up the food chain, eh? By extension, I think we can assume that Amar'e Stoudemire is afraid of dogs, Toney Douglas is afraid of mountain lions, Steve Novak is afraid of bears, and Renaldo Balkman is afraid of bear-eating whales.
- But yo, I really want to know why Melo's scared of cats (and specifically "alley cats"). I, like Jaylah, was baffled to hear that. Did he have a bad experience with a cat? Cats are creepy and gross, but I haven't met too many people who are genuinely frightened by them.
- Rampant staring contest cheating. It's an epidemic.
- Landry Fields is one of those people who says "Rock, paper, scissor SAYS shoot." That extra syllable really throws folks off and is just totally wrong.
And that is all. We must get to the bottom of Melo's ailurophobia.
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Gotta love Landry
Definitely one of my fav Knicks
Blue And Orange Over Everything
by Spike4Prez on Feb 2, 2012 12:28 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Landry's fucking awesome.
He would definitely be my best friend if I knew him.
thats a stalker -ish comment!
You just got Tysoned!!!!!!
YEAH ME TOO
someone tell me when this gets weird…
posi..tive ....thoughts..?
@krishhhayyy
by gymtanlandry on Feb 3, 2012 12:31 PM EST up reply actions
maybe cause
cats are creepy and quiet and can sneak up on you…people assoc cats with witches and salem and all that stuff too so I don’t know…I’m not scared of them, just sayin…
You just got Tysoned!!!!!!
Well on top of that, Salem is in/near Boston
And noone likes Boston right?
I’m not a fan of cats either, they give me the creeps
Blue And Orange Over Everything
by Spike4Prez on Feb 2, 2012 12:34 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
truu...no one like Bos
BUT we’re not scared of them..Go BIG BLUE!!!
You just got Tysoned!!!!!!
Because that’s how we do it in the hood….
by Herb Williams' Career Progress on Feb 2, 2012 1:03 PM EST up reply actions
word up
"It was one of those good, deep sleeps; you know, the ones where you wake up and a stream of drool is steadily racing down your shirt? Yes, that kind of sleep." -Landry Fields
by Thelonious Dunk on Feb 2, 2012 1:36 PM EST up reply actions
Cats are stuck up
They’re also arrogant and have a sense of entitlement when it comes to having people clean up their poop. So I honestly get where Carmelo’s coming from. He seems to have forgotten that they’re awesomely cuddly though.
Jorts cheating at staring contests though? That broken/sprained wrist must’ve been karma.
New York Knicks = Sleeping Giants
Wanna check out an awesome blog? http://cospeniazmi.blogspot.com
“I like cats, cats are punk, ’cuz they have like no sense of loyalty & their main hobbies are sleeping & not giving a fuck.”
Stainer of mountaintops.
by Chairman Meow on Feb 2, 2012 12:57 PM EST up reply actions
Pshh
maybe your cat has no loyalty. Mine would kill for me, before and after taking a nap.
yea my cat is odee loyal
and she watches people i invite over like a hawk
by blackhova on Feb 2, 2012 1:32 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I'm glad this is where the conversation went
posi..tive ....thoughts..?
@krishhhayyy
by gymtanlandry on Feb 2, 2012 2:28 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Someone needs to hook Melo up
with some adorable cat gifs. He must not peruse the internet much because it’s almost exclusively cute kitties and porn.
Don't let Melo see this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_LHlFwlhk
In case you have not seen it this is the greatest cat video of all time.
I hate losing more than I love winning -- Billy Beane
MELO'S NIGHTMARE
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/01/two-faced-cat-born_n_1246835.html#s478578&title=Twoheaded_animals_and
I just imagined
Toney dribbling up the court, with 3 minutes left in a close game. He looks at his defender, and he’s got the head of a dog. He looks around and the entire other team has heads of dogs. Then he goes to pass and his own teammate also has the head of a dog. He looks to the sideline and Mike D’antoni also has the head of a dog. And then he notices someone barking at him and it’s Spike Lee… and then he notices everyone in the stands also has the head of a dog.
After the loss, a reporter asks him “Toney, are you seeing dog’s heads on everyone out there, is that causing a problem?”
And Toney responds with one of those unconvincing “Nah, Nah, not a all”. And then you see the view from Toney’s eyes and the reporter ALSO HAS THE HEAD OF A DOG.
Get The Frickin' Rebound
by fuhry on Feb 2, 2012 1:01 PM EST reply actions 11 recs
You found the reason for TD's shitty passing
That’s some nice armchair psychology.
this is creepy as hell
You just got Tysoned!!!!!!
of course it is SAYS shoot
always and forever
SAYS me
It just unnecessarily prolongs the game!
There’s no reason for it!
the melody
and beat goes with SAYS shoot
otherwise it’s just cutoff too early..
SAYS is the way to go..
That’s the only logical way!!
Blue And Orange Over Everything
by Spike4Prez on Feb 2, 2012 1:19 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
I think it has to do with tempo
if you’re going rock, payyyy-per, scisss-ors, says, SHOOT! then that makes sense.
Here, we go ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT. Very quickly. 1-2-3-4.
Pssh I don't know how they do it on the west side of the Hudson
over here we says says, ya see
the latter, it's too spastic
there is a certain melody and grace to RPS Seth, don’t miss out..
rock paper scissors shoot.
all day. it’s like, get to the shooting already. no need to add a whole business about who’s saying what.
But here's the real question...
…after each win, does the winner slap the back of the loser’s hand as hard as he (or she) can? For me, that’s the only way to play it.
by urban analrapist on Feb 2, 2012 1:27 PM EST up reply actions
I know Seth corrected me on your name
but everytime I see it….I think something else!! lol…and laugh my ass off
You just got Tysoned!!!!!!
He just blue himself.
"It was one of those good, deep sleeps; you know, the ones where you wake up and a stream of drool is steadily racing down your shirt? Yes, that kind of sleep." -Landry Fields
by Thelonious Dunk on Feb 2, 2012 1:52 PM EST up reply actions
haha
that video was hilarious. Especially Landry and Jorts taking the games so serious, they looked like big kids lol
This video really drove home just how much I miss Jorts
Even with just a few second of his presence. I love him. Him lifting the kid up and holding him on his palm, then winning the staring contest. I imagine getting to be a kid hanging out with Jorts is the best thing ever
Do the Shumpty Shump, come on and do the Shumpty Shump
My Bad
I was trying to rec a comment and somehow flagged it. So sorry. If one of the mods could fix that for me it would be greatly appreciated.
Hopefully
The road teams won’t start bringing cat pictures to games.
I want to thank the good lord for making me a Yankee
Landry Fields is hilarious
that guy always cracks me up
2012 New York Mets, World Series Champions!
Cats are AWESOME
for target practice.
__________________________________________________
"He who gets the best players usually wins" - Bobby Bowden
this should be flagged so many times
what’s wrong with cats?
2012 New York Mets, World Series Champions!
Bill Walker's got some crazy-ass staring eyes.
Also, how do we know they’re children and not just really tiny hipsters?
"It was one of those good, deep sleeps; you know, the ones where you wake up and a stream of drool is steadily racing down your shirt? Yes, that kind of sleep." -Landry Fields
Landry is so beast at thumb wars and staring contests
I bet he was the coolest kid in elementary school
it's because he's a child
posi..tive ....thoughts..?
@krishhhayyy
by gymtanlandry on Feb 3, 2012 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
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