Pre-Game Reconnaissance: Knicks vs. Bulls- 2/2/12

Balls? Oh, BULLS. Got it.

What's up with the Bulls?

From the friendly man behind Blog-a-Bull:

The Bulls (or at least their fanbase) are in a strange position of seeing a great regular season almost seem like a chore. No matter how many games they win behind their superlative defense and Derrick Rose's brilliance, it's all about a rematch with the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference finals. The differences in winning that matchup this season were to be due to increased comfort between Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah, and the acquisition of Rip Hamilton. Thus far neither has gone well. Hamilton has looked very good as a safety valve for Rose in the half-court, and an unexpectedly great transition player and passer, but age and injury has dogged him all season to where he's now been shut down until deemed completely healthy. Boozer and Noah still haven't figured things out, as it seems that as though while Boozer can still be effective, it's exclusively as a high-post player shooting jumpers, the position on the court Joakim Noah also needs to roam in to be at his best. Even keeping the status quo from last season may be difficult, as both Rose and their second-best player, Luol Deng, have injuries that may last the entire season. Rose is seemingly over his turf toe injury, but it could return at any time, and we've yet to see Luol Deng since he decided to rest (as opposed to repair) the torn ligament in his non-shooting wrist. All this said, the Bulls are still very good, with the depth and size to be able manhandle most opponents even through such adversity. But it doesn't feel quite right until the known holes are fixed, and that may not be proven until the playoffs actually start.

Meet the (few) new Bulls!

Jimmy Butler- Jimmy travels with several dozen pocket-sized bottles of flavored syrups to make all of his meals and even some of his acquaintances and household objects taste like sweet, delicious candies.

Richard Hamilton- Richard, even after twelve years of playing and traveling with NBA teams, claps his hands together and squeals "Ooh, are we going to FLY in that thing?" every time he sees the Bulls' team plane.

Adventures in Impersonating Joakim Noah on Omegle

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: yo

You: what's up

Stranger: just chilling you /

Stranger: ?

You: you know, just doing my hair and preparing for tonight

Stranger: why what are youi doing

You: playing a basketball game

You: gotta make sure my hair is as revolting as possible

You: facial hair, too

Stranger: haha i love basketball where you from

You: originally? new york

You: i live in chicago now

You: although i'm back in new york at the moment

Stranger: ahh i live in britain whats your basketball team called

You: the bulls

You: i have a couple friends from britain

Stranger: nice

You: this guy luol and my old friend ben who moved

Stranger: ahh cool do you no what part

You: luol is from brixton

You: well he's from sudan, but he moved there

Stranger: ohh im from nottingham

You: ben's from somewhere in london, not sure where

You: oh, very nice

You: london is beautiful

Stranger: its ok new york is much better

You: yes, new york is pretty great

Stranger: ive always wanted to go

You: just get really tall and good at basketball

Stranger: haha

You: and then get drafted and you can play in or visit new york

Stranger: how old are you then

You: 26

You: though i kinda style myself to look like a giant pubescent girl

Stranger: why

You: because it's hilarious

Stranger: haha so are you a proffesional basketball player

You: yes indeed

Stranger: oh and you play for chicago bulls

You: you got it

Stranger: nice man who are you

You: my name's joakim

Stranger: joakim noah?

You: yeah that's me!

Stranger: sick man

You: yeah thanks

Stranger: are you playing th knicks

You: yeah we're playing them tonight

Stranger: what time

You: 8 pm eastern

You: not sure what that is in london

You: fuckin crack o dawn probably

Stranger: oh how many hours till you play

You: about 3 and a half

Stranger: yeh its a bout one in the morning when you play good luck pal

You: hey thanks

You: i'll need it

You: it's been kind of a rough season for me

Stranger: how many baskets you scored this season so far

You: like total baskets?

Stranger: yes

You: shit, i don't know!

You: probably like a couple hundred

Stranger: nice man

You: it's not like soccer where people tend to total how many times you score

You: football, sorry

Stranger: haha i dont mind and how come your on omegle if your rich

You: what, rich people can't converse with strangers over the internet?

You: i'm bored!

Stranger: haha i thought you would be training

You: and i'm waiting for all these boogers that i put in my hair to dry

You: well, we had a shootaround. and i'll get to the arena early to warm up

You: gotta rest sometimes

Stranger: haha im quite lucky to be talking to a pro basketball player

You: hey i'm quite lucky to be talking to a friendly londoner

Stranger: im not from london im from nottingham but thanks

You: oh wow i totally mixed up nottingham with notting hill

You: my mistake

You: here i was picturing you as like hugh grant

Stranger: haha

You: oh well

Stranger: i bet your house cost like 10 million dollors

You: it's pretty sweet

You: lots of supreme chill spots

You: i have some fish

You: can't complain

Stranger: nice man i have fish i have 2 ponds

You: wow man that's more ponds than i have

Stranger: haha but i bet yours is like 2 miles long]

You: nah, i have no ponds, but i could definitely have a 2-mile pond if i wanted to

You: fill that shit with barracudas

Stranger: hahalucky guy

Stranger: haha

Stranger: do you have any pest besides fish

Stranger: pets*

You: no but i'd like a monkey and maybe a robot dolphin

You: and a toucan that will smoke weed with me

Stranger: haha that woud be cool

Stranger: isnt smoking weed bad for basketball

You: so they say

Stranger: oh well life goes on

You: you got it

Stranger: what shoes do you wear for games

You: i wear these french ones

You: le coq sportif!

Stranger: ahh

You: yeah that's just a sporty rooster

Stranger: yhyh there nice the red ojnes

Stranger: ones

You: thanks

Stranger: i bet your using some amazing computer or laptop

You: it's a pretty normal laptop

You: covered in stickers

You: also, i affixed a cupholder

Stranger: haha nice

You: aight i gotta take off man

You: peace

Stranger: peace good luck for tonight hope you win bro

You: thanks man

You have disconnected.

Knicks-Bulls Connexions

Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau spent seven years as an assistant coach for the Knicks.

Knicks Center Tyson Chandler spent the first five years of his career with the Bulls.

Bulls assistant coach Rick Brunson was an All-Star and averaged 28 points per game as a member of the 2000-2001 Knicks.

As a ninth-grader, Knicks guard Jeremy Lin briefly copied the cornrowed hairstyle of Bulls guard Richard Hamilton.

Bulls guard Kyle Korver, Knicks center Jerome Jordan, and Knicks forward Jared Jeffries all attend the same "Alliteratives Anonymous" meetings each month.

Knicks guard Bill Walker and Bulls guard C.J. Watson have their taxes done by the same CPA orangutan.

Knicks forward Josh Harrellson and Bulls guard John Lucas III have, on separate occasions, attempted to shoot and kill the same common pheasant.

Steve Novak Has a Beautiful Mind

Novak2_medium

Luol Deng of the Bulls wears the number 9. Chicago's 9th most-used lineup John Lucas III, Omer Asik, Ronnie Brewer, and Taj Gibson. The first letters of their first names, when combined spell "JORT".

Jort.

Coincidence? Or conspiracy?

And now you're ready for Knicks-Bulls!

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