so mvp Eddy Curry(ugh) and the Miami Heat (more ugh) are one game away from winning the NBA Finals (most egregious UGH) and there's pretty much nothing we can do about it. Social Media will be in an uproar. your fairweather heat fan friends will mock, gloat, and brag to no end. but fear not! for we are not powerless in this situation. instead of sulking and boozing, do the next best thing and TROLL.
let's start off with a meme.
or perhaps some logic to silence the bumbling fairweather(er?). you will see many status updates. tweets being twat :pause: they will all look like this
fairweather fan: MIAMI HEAT! NBA CHAMPS!
the essence of trolling is to always be the first. so follow it with a comment: *in a truncated season plagued with injuries
or maybe: yea, in a season that was 3/4 as long as a full regular season, so LeBron STILL doesn't have that 4th quarter!
this one always irks me, when someone says "WE DID IT! #NAMEOFSPORTSTEAMHERE, CHAMPIONS!"
a good douchey-like response: YEA! AS THOUGH YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT! GOOD JOB, YOU!
now there will be heated face-to-face (that still happens with today's generation, right?) arguments at great-length so here are some talking points to mind-f*ck the crap out of the gleeful Heat fan.
you/us/we: you know it's fitting the Heat won the finals this year.
confused heat fan: huh, really?
you/us/we: well, yea. given the lockout and all. and how the small-market team owners were complaining about all the talent parity and how the players pretty much dictate where they wanna play and who they wanna play with...
confused heat fan: well, yea but--
you/us/we: so yea, its fitting the Miami Heat won the finals of an abbreviated season following a lockout that which the very assembly of that team inevitably caused!
now do i condone trolling? of course not. but in this particular case, yes. why? because its the Miami Heat. a team that is barely 8 men deep. a team that gets the obligatory referee star treatment when they don't even need it. a team that has the last known living velociraptor on the planet on its roster. a team whose scumbag-boss faxed in his resignation to his previous employer. a team that... c'mon guys, let's get this ball rolling!
*now i'm not saying that it's appropriate to troll all over SBNation. that would be stupid and people would think that we're even bigger idiots than we already are for rooting for the Knicks. the intention of this fanpost was to jokingly prepare you for the full media onslaught that is about to come and to vent your misery and frustration by turning it into something that we can all laugh at.