While you were at work, I watched "Knicks Training Camp Live"

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Here's what happened.

You were probably working at your job from 11 AM to 2 PM today, because today is Tuesday and that's what adults do on Tuesdays. The Knicks have training camp practices around that time, and today they aired practice live on MSG. If you want to watch "Knicks Training Camp Live" later, it'll air again on MSG at 8 PM. If you want me to just tell you what happened, here's that:

11:10 AM: I pretty much had to drag my dog home from the park, so I got to my TV late. The first thing I think upon seeing the usual MSG talking heads is that the network must have hired a new makeup person. It's preseason for everybody.

11:12: Jeremy Tyler's still in a boot.

11:13: AL TRAUTWIG CERVASIOBOMB:

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11:18: The Knicks are stretching with foam rollers and stuff. Metta World Peace has mixed feelings about the whole thing:

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11:19: While Mike Breen and Walt Frazier discuss defense and the team's potential improvements in that realm, Clyde taps the championship ring on his finger.

11:24: Trautwig interviews Steve Mills. Mills says he came to a dozen or so games last season, including a few on the road. He's been attending every practice and video session.

11:26: The guys are skipping across the court in one direction and sliding backward while kicking their feet and wiggling their asses in the other direction. You can see the "oh shit this could be the new hot dance craze" wheels turning in Chris Douglas-Roberts's head

11:27: Trautwig asks Mills if the Knicks are considering adding "someone who isn't in this room". Mills says they're mostly just looking at these 20 guys for the time being.

11:32: A conversation about Metta's defense goes along with highlights of him handcuffing J.R. Smith and literally tackling Bill Walker into the bench during games.

11:37: Alan Hahn confirms that the Knicks are still doing the thing where, if the team commits fewer than 13 turnovers, the coaches have to run sprints at the next practice (I think that's how it works).

11:38: J.R. Smith will not scrimmage, but he's running full-court transition drills at full speed. He double-clutches a two-handed dunk on the break.

11:40: J.R. on Mike Woodson: "He knows how to connect. He knows how to vibe with me. He knows how to conversate with me."

11:42: Wally Szczerbiak is against J.R. starting, basically asking why you'd tinker with something that worked quite well. (Here are two tweets about that topic.)

11:46: In a pre-recorded interview, Amar'e Stoudemire approves of a limit of 20-25 minutes a night, for the "longevity of [his] career".

11:48: We see Amar'e shooting around (not running drills, definitely not scrimmaging) with sweatpants rolled all the way above his knees.

12:10 PM: Allan Houston says the front office already has a decent sense of who of the non-guaranteed guys they want to keep, but anything can happen.

12:12: Trautwig asks Houston if his 12-year old son can shoot. "He can shoot!".

12:13: There's a "Mic'd Up" segment featuring Tim Hardaway Jr., who is not shy about directing people and barking orders during drills. I believe I heard Woodson propose a 2-on-2 game of him and Houston vs. Hardaway and C.J. Leslie. J.R. gives Tim some shit about his socks.

12:15: The scrimmaging begins, first in the halfcourt. Blue team: Raymond Felton, Iman Shumpert, Carmelo Anthony, Andrea Bargnani, Tyson Chandler (likely starters for Thursday's game) with Ike Diogu, Toure' Murry, and Leslie subbing in

12:16: Beno Udrih falls down missing a mid-range floater. Pablo Prigioni drills a three in Felton's eye.

12:25: Hardaway drills a corner three off the catch.

12:26: A Chandler-to-Bargnani alley-oop doesn't work at all.

12:32: Beno bricks another mid-range pull-up leaner thing.

12:36: Woodson, in a pre-recorded interview: "They got us not winning our division, finishing 5th or 6th, but at the end of the day I don't look at things like that." Sounds like you do look at them at the beginning of the day, though.

12:39: Metta catches at the right elbow, pump fakes, and drives for an and-one finish.

12:39: Clyde: "The Knicks can't rest on their Lauras after last year."

12:45: Pablo drives over a pick, spins, and kicks to a Metta three in the left corner. Felton follows by engaging in the mirror image with Melo.

12:46: Pablo drills another three over ap ick.

12:47: Cole Aldrich is setting a pick for Pablo, and Pablo's got one hand on Cole's hip, just pushing him around to mush Felton into the floor

12:48: I just realized that Tyson Chandler's right arm is totally covered in tattoos and his left arm is pretty much ink-less.

12:48: Pablo pleads with a ref to call Chandler for holding his arm. Tyson nods. He held Pablo's arm.

12:50: Shump and Metta checking each other off the ball is kinda terrifying.

12:55: Melo's hitting every goddamn shot he takes. He pump fakes and ducks under Chris Smith to hit an off-balance 18-footer.

1:01: The scrimmages turn full-court, with that blue starting lineup arranged once more. Melo starts the full-court game by burying a  pull-up long two

1:02: Shump runs a gorgeous left-side pick-and-roll with Chandler, hitting him with an overhead pass for a rolling baseline dunk.

1:06 : The white team right now: Pablo, Hardaway, Metta, Josh Powell, Aldrich. Metta and Pablo are doing their best to trap Melo all the way up the floor.

1:07: Hardaway makes a gorgeous back cut and catches a perfect pass from Powell, only to get swatted at the rim by a flying penguin. The refs call a phantom foul on Felton because they don't understand what just happened.

1:10: Bargnani drains his second jumper of the full-court game, this one off a Melo kick-out. Clyde points out for the umpteenth time this past week that Melo is constantly looking for Andrea. It's true.

1:15: Beno slides in to take a charge from Diogu in a fast-break 3-on-1. Pretty impressive

1:16: "Metta is on fire". Dude can't stop hitting jumpers for that white team.

1:17: C.J. Leslie misses a catch-and-shoot three by about 19 feet. He never really caught the ball.

1:17: Cole Aldrich runs the floor beautifully, but misses a transition layup by about 22 feet. Ditto.

1:19: Beno destroys Felton and Chandler on a drive over a pick. Awful communication between those two, ending in Chandler backpedaling in Beno's wake.

1:22: A crucial possession for the trailing blue team ends with Melo getting stripped and Metta putting the white team ahead for good with a transition layup.

1:22: Guarding Melo in the post, Douglas-Roberts wipes his forehead sweat on Melo's t-shirt. Veteran move.

1:23: TOO MUCH MELO ISOLATION DOWN THE STRETCH. He bricks a turn-around J over CD-R in the closing seconds

1:23: Leslie navigates brilliantly through transition traffic, but gets swatted at the rim by CD-R.

1:23: White wins 25-18, I think. They won.

1:24: Clyde: "That's not the end of it, is it? I was just getting into it, guys!". It is the end of it.

1:30: Trautwig asks Woodson about his beard stubble while rubbing his cheek tenderly. Woodson: "It's just training camp. I don't feel like shaving".

Fin.

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