P&T Takes Over the World, Part 1: Kunming Stone Forest

As a designated representative of Posting and Toasting, Pope Seth has tasked me to walk the Earth, like Kane in "Kung Fu", converting P&T non-believers and claiming virgin lands in the name of Clyde. My latest stop in this never-ending quest was the province of Yunnan, in Southwest China.

For those of you who don't know where Yunnan is, here's a helpful map (it's the red part). It borders on the Southeast Asian countries Myanmar, Laos and Vietnam, but it also lies at relative altitude, next to the Tibet-Qinghai Plateau. Long story short, the weather there kicks ass. Also, it's China's leading producer of my favorite metal, zinc. The good weather and ample supplies of zinc made Yunnan an ideal winter vacation destination, not to mention a worthy addition to the P&T empire.

Our first stop was the provincial capital, Kunming, and it's legendary Stone Forest.


Why do they call it that? I dunno, probably cuz it's a bunch of stones that look like a forest. Also, they used to write some stuff on the stones.


Oh yeah, there were a lot of people. It's still China, after all. See that pagoda up in the background? To get there you have to climb your way through the stone crevices, up the stairs.


Not too difficult...except you're continuously being pushed by a gaggle of Chinese tourists. Here's the view from the top of yon pagoda.


Local dancers of the Yi nationality. The guy at the front left stopped their dance to stare at me for a while, like I was the weird-looking one, so I snapped this photo.


We're totally screwed, America...not only have the Chinese discovered the sixth dimension, they have bred an army of apes with laser eyes.


The salesmen in the gift shop were none too pleased when I started snapping photos of their sweet-ass stock of Stone Forest Bongs.


150 P&T points if you can figure out what this sign in the Stone Forest bus station is supposed to say:


A: "Please don't spit everywhere." And yes, they need to put these signs all over the place. Doesn't stop people from spitting, though.

That's all for today. Stayed tuned for the next installment of P&T Takes Over the World. Until then: congratulations, Stone've just been #Taped (I apologize in advance if I don't have power to #tape places)


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