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Analyzing Terry's Flop with Sir Isaac Newton

After I heard the news of J.R. Smith's suspension, I promised myself one thing: that I would be the bigger man, and not go all Zapruder film on the Terry elbow. But after watching Game 4, I'm saying "screw that.":

Jrelbow_medium_medium

via cdn0.sbnation.com

A full second after contact, Terry jerks his neck back violently, and assumes the pro-wrestler fall possession. CAN YOU SEE IT? Down, and to the left. DOWN, AND TO THE LEFT!

Needing more evidence, I ventured into to spirit world to consult Sir Isaac Newton:

me: "Thank you for agreeing to this interview."

Sir Isaac Newton: "No prob, Bob."

me: "According to your laws of motion, how could a falling body experience such a sudden uptick in acceleration without a further application of force?"

Sir Isaac Newton: "I'll tell you what happened: that bitch flopped! FLOP-FLOPPITY-FLOP-FLOPPED! LIKE A STRAIGHT-UP BITCH, YA HEARD?!?"

me: "Indeed. I heard."

So there you have it - Terry flopped, he's a bitch, and I hate the Celtics more than ever. If I come across one of the ubiquitous "Terry came back from the elbow and beat the Knicks. He's a hero." articles from the national press, I'm gonna throw my laptop through a window. Boston first-responders are heroes; Jason Terry is a little flopping bitch. There is a difference, you know.

Pierce and Rivers and the rest can complain about the calls and the Knicks' show-boating all they want, but all the hypocritical show-boating on their end is going to stop come Game 5. Terry's stupid little JET dance is going down, Pierce and his smug douche attitude is going down.

Knicks in 5.

Rant over.

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