As was officially announced this morning, the Knicks are founding the 18th D-League franchise for next season, the seventh fully owned and operated by a single NBA team. The team will play in White Plains at the Westchester County Center. Allan Houston will be the General Manager. There is a website and a Twitter account. The BayHawks are on their own.
The first order of business is me officially announcing that I want to be the play-by-play announcer for the Knicks' White Plains D-League franchise. Get at me, Knicks White Plains D-League Franchise. I have no experience and an annoying voice, but I still think I can do a good job. My signature call is shrieking "CA-CAW!!!!" and flapping my arms like a weird frantic bird. You have to train the camera on me when I make my signature call. Just kidding about that last part. Unless you find it appealing.
The second and more important order of business is naming the team, which is at least partly in our hands, which is so exciting. We don't know yet whether this team will be the Westchester ____, the White Plains _____, the New York ________ or something else, but I'm gonna assume it's one of the first two. As such, here is a list I've prepared of alliterative local fauna:
ALLITERATIVE LOCAL FAUNA
Westchester/White Plains Woodchucks
Westchester/White Plains Woodpeckers
Westchester/White Plains Wigeons
Westchester/White Plains Wrens?
Westchester/White Plains Wheatears
Westchester/White Plains Wonderdogs (You know, like wonderful dogs)
Westchester/White Plains Weird Bats
I'm gonna push hard for alliterative local fauna, but that's just my thing. I'm sure there are clever historical names (The Headless Horsemen!?) and...I don't know, other kinds of names. I liked when some of you suggested the White Plains Drifters. I'm open-minded. I just beg you, Knicks White Plains D-League Franchise, to not pick something arbitrary. Unless it's the Westchester Wombats or something. I'd be okay with arbitrary animals of the non-fearsome/non-already-in-use division.
Get your names in. This is extremely important.
Update: As mooch31 points out, this exceedingly Knicks-y bit of copy deserves special attention:
IDEAS? WE HAVE IDEAS! WE TOTALLY KNOW WHAT IDEAS ARE. IDEAS ARE LIKE...WELL, YOU TELL US AND THEN WE'LL TELL YOU WHAT IDEAS ARE. WE WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW. WE ALREADY KNOW. TELL US. YOU GET NO MONEY.