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Analytical Analysis of the Dolan Interview at Pacers Game 3/19/2014

First off I want to say BRAVO.. Jim.. I didn't think I could think any less of you, but you proved me wrong...

When asked about the timing of the signing of Phil Jackson...

Dolan says- "The timing was accidental"....

Dolan Means- Well after I heard about the Anti Dolan Rally going on in New York before the game today, I decided that I was going to go hang out in LA, you know, be a couple hours behind, maybe lay low for a bit.. Then I was at a party, doing some Jello Shots with Cuban, and I saw this old guy from across the room walking towards me. At first I though he was a knicks fan and he was trying to hurt me, but he introduced himself and seemed kind of nice. I had no idea who the hell he was until I sobered up enough to google him.

What did you learn that night?

Dolan Says- "That I don't know basketball"

Dolan Means- Yeah well i'm pretty much a dumb ass. I've been running this shit hole of a team into the ground, but I really don't want to fire Woodie, He's from atlanta, I don't want his boys coming at me with them choppers.. So I figured, Hire Phil... Let him try and impliment the triangle, realize that Woodson is too dumb to coach it, Phil gets fed up with the ignorance, and comes back into coaching.. It's the perfect plan...

What did you goys talk about?

Dolan Says- "He taught me basketball in two hours"

Dolan Means- Well I asked him what he thought about shooting more 4 point shots... Then he explained to me that there was no such thing as a 4 pointer, which isn't what JR told me before I re-signed him to that big money contract. I was under the impression that the more off balance the shot the higher chance of a 4 pointer. Then he explained to me that there was no 5 pointer either for trying and failing ridiculous dunks (Which Bargniani lied to me about too). so he suggested the triangle offense and I was like, hey i play the triangle in my Springsteen cover band, why not?

In essence, Dolan is an idiot

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