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Knicktions: Kerrgotiations Part II - Kerrveball

The door opens and a peaceful looking STEVE KERR stumbles out.
KERR: So that's the thing guys. We have experienced something special here. But you've got to understand, the state is GOLDEN. THE ENTIRE STATE!
JACKSON: It's hard to turn that down.
KERR: I mean, the streets being paved with gold, that's pretty good. But you could gold plate the entire city and it wouldn't be, like a whole state. The more I thought about it the more I thought, I have to go for the gold.
JACKSON: Yes, gold usually indicates first place. First place is good.
DOLAN: But I want first place. What about Platinum?
JACKSON: I like the way you're thinking, Jimmy. That's the way we have to think about it. Now what do you say to Steve Kerr here?
DOLAN: BETRAYOR II !!!!!!
JACKSON: Now, Jimmy, Steve has his path - the golden path.
DOLAN: It's hard, so hard for me, Phil. I value loyalty.
JACKSON: By being loyal to his true desires, Steve is being loyal to you. To become the Knicks' head coach, when his heart is in the golden lands yonder, that would be dishonest and disloyal to you.
KERR: Thanks for understanding, my brothers.
KERR leaves the office, stumbling several times and saying 'Oh, Wow' on the way to the elevator.
DOLAN: Did you plant the chip?
JACKSON: remember when I did the 'Pull your psychological blockages out through your ear' trick?
DOLAN: Yes.
JACKSON: stuck the chip right in there. I thought his destiny was to work with me to bring glory back to this franchise, but once I realized that it was not to be, I adjusted quickly.
WOODSON (emerging from the corner): Guys, again, speaking of adjusting quickly, leaving Dolan's office after being fired is something I'll have to look at going forward, but I'm not going to kick denial to the curb.
DOLAN: Hey, uh, Secretary, what's your name? Can you call security?
SECRETARY: Sure. Steve?
MILLS: #$*&%*$* Other duties as assigned. (grabbing Woodson): C'mon Mike, lets get out of here.
JACKSON: Anyway. Back to adjusting quickly. We can implant suggestions into Kerr's brain directly. We should see Stephen Curry on his way here soon enough.
DOLAN: Curry BETRAYOR!!!!
JACKSON: That was Don Nelson. Wasn't the kid's fault.
DOLAN: Nelson BETRAYOR!!!!
JACKSON: Right. So now we have to find a coach. You know what would be cool? If there was a college coach who ran a triangle-like system whose name was actually 'Betrayor'. Or if Mike Woodson somehow became my girlfriend's boss. Then he could talk to the press about not wanting to throw Buss under the bus!
DOLAN: Totally man. That's genius. So where do we find this guy?
JACKSON: Google?
DOLAN: Genius. (takes out his phone) How do you spell Betrayor?
JACKSON: P-I-P-P-E-N.



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