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Know the Opponent: Chicago Bulls

Meet the Bulls!

#35 Malik Allen- Most NBA fans don't know that Malik is the league's most avid proponent of S&M. He posesses a wide array of weapons and contraptions and frequently holds bondage parties.

#15 Martynas Andriuskevicius- Martynas is actually an unusually tall 9th grader from Missouri named Marty Anderson. Scouts wisely suggested the name change to better his chances of being drafted.

#11 Andre Barrett- At halftime, Bulls assistant coach Pete Myers changes Andre's diaper.

#42 P.J. Brown- The urban legend that little children who don't finish their vegetables get kidnapped, tortured, and eaten by P.J. Brown is a myth. He doesn't torture them.

#9 Luol Deng- Luol got his British citizenship not to play for the national team, but with hopes to someday become Sir Luol Deng.

#21 Chris Duhon- When Chris plays "Duck, Duck, Goose", he always forgets to make someone the "goose", often going around in circles for several minutes before everyone just gives up on the game.

#7 Ben Gordon- Ben's career statistics, if rearranged and deciphered, are a clue to the whereabouts of the Holy Grail.

#44 Adrian Griffin- Though he seems rather quiet and well-mannered to the unsuspecting viewer, Adrian has been known to very subtly taunt opposing players with words so calculated and cruel that tears are sometimes shed.

#12 Kirk Hinrich- Kirk keeps his hair somewhat shaggy to hide the evil, profanity-spewing face on the back of his head.

#38 Victor Khryapa- Scott Skiles bought Victor his own ant farm to distract him and keep him from complaining about minutes.

#5 Andres Nocioni- Andres has added numerous tricks to further bolster his reputation as a dirty player. He frequently uses static electricity to startle opponents, and conceals a shank in his waistband for use while boxing out.

#2 Thabo Sefolosha- Thabo has avoided suspension in every basketball league he's ever played in by proclaiming himself "neutral" when a fight breaks out.

#50 Michael Sweetney- Like many players, Mike plans to stay with the Bulls organization even after he retires. Mike would like to coach or work in the front office, but the Bulls have quietly opened up a spot for him on the Matadors dance team.

#24 Tyrus Thomas- Now that he's left LSU, Tyrus has actually put some weight on his bones because Glen Davis is no longer stealing his meals.

#3 Ben Wallace- Though Coach Skiles wouldn't let him wear his headband on the court, Ben has kept himself happy by wearing it out to dinner, to church, and to bed.

Those are your Bulls. Game thread coming your way shortly. Peace.

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sweetney
saw him walking into a hotel when they played the pacers two weeks ago.  i shouldve said something, hed probably be shocked that someone actually knew who he was.

another example of the genius of scott layden.  he was a top-ten draft pick.  ugh.

thats another thing people forget...technically if you count sweetney and this years pick (which would be in the top 10 if the season ended today), isiah will have traded 3 top 10 picks for curry (two 2nd round picks, '07 and '09 were also throw-ins...so thats 5 total picks if youre counting at home).

i like mittens and i think hes going to end up being a great player but damn...three top tens?

Ewing with the step...YES! and the foul!

by Anthony Masons Haircut on Apr 10, 2007 6:22 PM EDT reply actions  

Isiah
I prefer (for optimism's sake) to look at the players those picks turned out to be. It remains to be seen whether Tyrus Thomas and this year's draft pick were worth giving up.

Probably not...but I try to stay positive.

Posting and Toasting: Unabashed Knicks fanaticism with the occasional poop joke.

by Seth on Apr 10, 2007 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

i dont blame you
thats what others have said as well.  but with isiah's drafting prowess, you know that those top ten picks would've been alot better than paxson's selections in chicago.

http://nydailynews.com/blogs/knicks/
here's a nice article by isola about curry.  i think it pretty much sums up how i feel.  i think its slightly more negative than i would like, but for the most part i think he's right.  he's had a very good season, but im not ready to re-name 33rd street to eddy curry blvd.  but i think if this season is any indicator (and if he can build on that next season), than the deal overall was a good one.

Ewing with the step...YES! and the foul!

by Anthony Masons Haircut on Apr 10, 2007 7:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

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