(AP Photo/Jerry Lai)

Alrighty then. The completely ravaged Knicks got their asses handed to them in embarassing fashion this evening in Chicago. I didn't watch much of the second half, but here's what game notes I did take:

• Let's get this out of the way: The Knicks had 27 points and 17 turnovers in the first half alone. I'm no doctor, but something tells me that's not conducive to winning. From here on out I will try not to discuss specific events of the game, in an attempt to completely erase it from my memory.
• I think if I met Andres Nocioni having never heard of him before, I'd be taken aback that he speaks Spanish. Looking at the guy with his red hair and blue eyes, Spanish is the last thing you'd expect to come out of his mouth. He's probably got some European blood in him, as many Argentineans do but, like, wow. I guess the constant flopping kinda gives him away.
  

  Umm..Guten Tag?

• I just went and tried to learn Nocioni's heritage, but instead turned up his fake myspace page. It includes gems like this:

  Everybody says I play so hard always diving for loose balls and whatnot because I have so much hustle, but it's really because I'm insane. I have extraordiarily red hair. I bite people from time to time. I even bit Coach Skiles once but he didn't mind and said he liked my effort.

  Quality shit, right there.
• We all know Clyde loves to rhyme, but he's got some alliteration in him too. At one point, he praised two defensive possessions from Frye by saying that he was "denying Deng" and "baffling Brown." Unfortunately, I'm officially out of "Chappelle's Show" Dylan jokes to make at this point. Actually, fuck it. Who the five best rappers in tha world? Clyde, Clyde, Clyde, Clyde, and Clyde! That felt good.
• The phrase "matador defense" is much more apt when you're playing against the "Bulls." (The Knicks went out of their way to demonstrate this irony on multiple occasions.)
• Steve Francis. Wow, man. Just...wow.
• A lot of discussion about the Curry trade this evening. Without getting to into it, let me just say that my least favorite thing about that trade (which I didn't actually realize until today) is the two second round draft picks we gave up. Isiah coulda worked his draft magic with those seemingly trivial throw-ins.
• Speaking of Isiah and the trade, MSG showed a bit of him answering questions about the deal. As he often does, Zeke sounded kinda like a cross between homicidal maniac and a Furby, gazing off into space and babbling about Curry always being "the biggest guy out there" between painfully long pauses.
• I say this every time I see him, but Ben Gordon is fucking jacked, yo. Wonder what he lifts...
  

  100's? Psssh. Nevermind.

• Some mamas and papas were in the house. Isiah Thomas' mother is, like, quite old. And let's just say that Eddy Curry's parents look exactly like you'd imagine they would.
• Where the ass did Channing Frye's confidence go? He's back to his old tricks of immediately pump faking every time he gets the ball. He's like a 6'11'', 250 pound squirrel.
• I can't think of a single other person named Ben in the NBA (there used to be Ben Davis), yet the Bulls have Gordon and Wallace. And their mascot's named Benny Da Bull. Fucking conspiracy is what it is.
• Props to Chicago for not fucking around like the Pistons did last night. They got right to business and put the Knicks D-League team down early and often.