And the Knicks become 0-3 on the West Coast trip. I hope you Mardy Collins supporters on the internet aren't reading this, because it might get a little bit personal.

The Jizz score the first bucket of the game. There are no more points for about 3 and a half minutes. Excitement, people, excitement. We go down 12-2 in the early minutes.
Nate Robinson has been the Knicks best player as of late, and the only one other than Crawford worth a rat's ass on offense, yet he doesn't enter the game for the first eleven minutes of the game. The Knicks: Where getting fucked in the ass by the large wooden spoon that is your coach's completely incomprehensible subsititution patterns happens.
Most point guards would see a one on one matchup would Mehmet Okur, a cloddish center, as a comical mismatch and blow right past him for an easy path to the hole. Mardy Collins sees this as an opportunity to execute two dribbles and then let Mehmet Okur steal the ball and outlet the ball to a 4 on 1 fast break.
Eddy Curry has the flu. I didn't think he could follow up his 5 foul in ten minute shitfest from last night with something worse, but he plays 4 minutes, misses two shots, turns it over twice, and burns an American flag, only to douse it with his own urine, vomit, and explosive diarrhea. I hope that was graphic enough for you.
I only refer to the Utah Jazz as the Utah Jizz, by the way, and I often call the Miami Heat the Miami Skeet. People counter by telling me that I should call the Knicks "The Dicks", but, I mean, that would just be stupid.
Some good individual performances by the Knicks tonight: Zach has 23 on 7-11 shooting, David Lee has 14 and 12, and Jamal Crawford, on an off shooting night, has 26 and 9, but still probably did more harm than good.
During the fourth quarter, I noticed a pair of tweenish looking girls in the stands dancing to Soulja Boy. In Mormon society, this is a crime punishable by death. Everyone around her was clearly terrified.
Weirder, and noted by Seth in the comments: it was Mascot night at the Jazz arena. There were a bunch of inflatable mascots roaming the floor during timeouts. And during one timeout, one of the mascots walked up to a cheerleader, bent over, AND LITERALLY SWALLOWED THE CHEERLEADER INSIDE ITS GIANT MASCOT MOUTH. THE WOMAN, PREVIOUSLY OUTSIDE OF THE MASCOT, HAD BEEN FUCKING INGESTED BY THE MASCOT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Jared Jeffries went 4-4 from the field. In a related story, a goat herder in Mongolia will wake up in the morning to check on his herd, only to find that they have all perished during the night.
A FUCKING MASCOT ATE A HUMAN BEING FOR NO APPARANT REASON. WHAT THE FUCK? THERE IS NO LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR THAT! ONE OF THEM IS A HUMAN AND THE OTHER IS AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BEAR MADE OUT OF PLASTIC AND FILLED WITH AIR, AND THE FUCKING BEAR SWALLOWED THE PERSON IN ITS MASCOT MOUTH! WHAT?
Fred Jones was back, and he did practically nothing.
The Knicks are down 7 with 3 minutes left. Any hopes of winning are dependent on cutting the deficit to 5 - a two possession game is doable in 3 minutes, without a doubt. Mardy Collins, controls the ball from the top of the key, and then wings the ball into the fourth row of the stands.
With about 10 seconds left, MSG loses its feed. Sure, it could have been techincal difficulties, but more likely, it was caused by the uncontrollable and violent riots that asshole Jazz fans spark after every win, normally causing casualties on both the police and civilian sides. Jazz fans are such assholes.

The Shittiest Player of the Game Award voting for tonight was tight, seeing as Mardy Collins could have actually sucked a human penis and performed slightly better than he did, but I vote for Malik Rose. He got called for a lane violation, went 0-3 from the field, had the worst plus/minus on the team, got called for an and-one so ticky tacky that it may have actually made it easier for the opposing player to score, and bobbled a Nate Robinson pass that left Rose wide open under the rim and let it bounce out of bounds. Fuck Malik Rose.