Editor's Note: Thanks to Mr. Gasm for doing the recap.

Look, bitches: one day, the Knicks will be a good team. And I'm going to say shit like, "you call yourself a fan? Well where were you during the Mardy Collins era?" and they'll be like "doing important things" and I'll realize I've wasted most of my life, but am still a morally superior Knicks fan. So I'm soaking in the shittiness in hopes it won't last long. (It will.)

Before the game was footage of Isiah Thomas at some sort of "Pistons at 50" shenanignans, where it became clear that Isiah Thomas wishes he was dead. He delivered a riveting speech to the Palace crowd, and, you could see the little thought bubbles in the MSG peoples heads like "oh my, it must be more enjoyable working there." When Isiah came out to give the speech, they showed a clip of David Lee and Jamal Crawford giving an uncomfortable clap. It looked like those videos of when Stalin went up to gave a speech and all the people in the audience were afraid to stop clapping because they thought the first person to stop clapping would get sent to a Siberian death camp.

Talking about David Lee, he was out, which I'm sure reignited the abandonment complexes of the other members of my long forgotten fantasy basketball team. I bet Mike Miller is curled up in the fetal position crying somewhere.

Arron Afflalo started, so, you know, the Pistons were psyched for this game.

Zach Randolph is the end-point for the KNicks first four possessions. Ahhh, the 07-08 season. Jamal Crawford gets hot though.

The star of the first half is Wilson Chandler, who goes 7-7 with 8 boards. Kid's legit. Good thing he didn't play all year. He showed a wide range of scoring possibilities, from jumpers to inside banger layups to an alleyoop.He finishes with 19 on 8-9 from the field.

Oh, booth is Gus, Clyde, and Pearl tonight. Their record: 2-0.

Quintin Richardson went no headband tonight, which is the first time I've seen that his whole career. Ohh, THAT'S why, Q. It was the headband. The headband is why. Quick, someone get Darius Miles on the phone! IT WAS THE HEADBANDS!!!!

Basketboner- Amir Johnson. Man, I love that guy. I stood next to him for about three seconds that time my friend who is friends with Renaldo Balkman took me back to the player's waiting area, and I felt like I was in the presence of greatness. He goes 5-6 with 14 and 2 blocks and 2 steals.

Talking about my FWIFWRB, as I abbreviate him, he thinks Randolph Morris has a bit of a, how do I say this, Keon Clark issue going on, and I'm not going to argue. He always seems a little out of it and uncoordinated. They didn't let Dolph spin for three quarters. What the fuck.

The Knicks defense was on today. Pistons shot 35 percent and 4-25 from downtown.

Want to hear something terrifying? I think Malik Rose has been modeling his offensive game after Zach Randolph's. Yeah, I said it. Now he gets it around 16 feet foul line extended and does the patented Z-Bo "stutter step fourteen times and shoot" gag, and he has been really, really, really, really ready to spot up when I watch him recently. He also took a Randolphian fader. Jared Jeffries also showcased his offensive game too.

Fred Jones might have the lowest dunk percentage ever. I've seen him blow 3 on the season and hit 2.

Whatever Renaldo Balkman had last year is completely gone. He missed three uncontested layups. It's sad to watch, because he really looked like a find last year.

The Knicks opened up a 25 point lead at the half that deteriorated to a close game at the end. In a cool gesture that nobody gives a shit, both teams ran their youngun squads out for the final minutes. This worked a lot better for the Pistons, who were carried by Stuckey, Maxiell, and Johnson while Walter Herrmann and Juan Dixon jacked up terrible threes, but anyway, they cut the lead to about 9 with under two minutes, and the Knicks kept turning it over and keeping the Pistons in the game. Then, up 5 with 40 seconds, Wilson Chandler, who really should be a good defender, you know, being athletic and huge, fouled Rodney Stuckey on a layup for an and-one.

Then, the Knicks had a fresh 24 with 38 seconds, up two. The Knicks hold for 19 seconds, and get it right where you want it with the game on the line: Mardy Collins. With a defender draped on him, Mardy did what he did best: hesitate, look around for a better shooter, and retreat. After a few dribbles backwards, he realized the time, and leaped sideways and flung up an OFF-BALANCED SHOT OF MARDY COLLINS-RELATED DOOM! As the clock expired, the ball rattled in, leaving the Pistons down 4, they tried a three, but Renaldo blocked it. Mardy "Xtra-Digits" Collins! Polydactyly up in this motherfucker! That, Detroit, is why we call him "That Guy Whose Shot is So Damn Ugly I Refuse To Believe He Has The Hands of a Normal Human Being." Or MC Lyte.

I think when Mardy Collins scores, the extra points that go on the board should be called "Mardy Collins' Extra Digits". Today, he had 4 on 2-6 shooting.

So, the Knicks split the series with the Pistons. Wait, what? That can't be possible.