clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Refamiliarize Yourself With the Opponent: New Orleans Hornets

Yet another recycled KTO. Should be the last one for a little while, as we have Philly, Minnesota, and Milwaukee coming up this week.

Meet the Hornets!

#12 Hilton Armstrong- People who think that Hilton has an unusual first name should meet his brother Best Western and his sister Comfort Inn.

#33 Brandon Bass- Brandon arrives to home games donning a war helmet made from a bejeweled elephant skull. David Stern has deliberated for several weeks over whether this is within the dress code.

#23 Devin Brown- Though Devin occasionally sports dress shirts of teal and mauve, everyone knows that salmon is his color.

#45 Rasual Butler- Rasual is a were-gator. When the sun goes down, he grows giant fangs and scales and crawls around the suburbs of Oklahoma City eating poodles.

#6 Tyson Chandler- Each of Tyson's limbs, if you attached a backboard and a rim, could serve as its own basketball hoop.

#8 Bobby Jackson- While many players have special coaches assigned to work with them, Bobby is the only NBA player with a personal doctor on staff.

#44 Marc Jackson- Marc Jackson's tears are the 23rd flavor in Dr. Pepper.

#43 Linton Johnson III- Within the Johnson family, Linton is known as "Linton the Magnificent".

#24 Desmond Mason- Desmond learned his free throw form from his father, who was an olympic medalist in the shot-put.

#2 Jannero Pargo- Before games, Jannero entertains his teammates with lively banjo music.

#3 Chris Paul- Chris' famous nut punch on Julius Hodge was merely a simple instinct he had picked up while taking a Women's Self Defense course at Wake Forest.

#22 Cedric Simmons- The 2008 model of Cedric Simmons will include cup holders on the brow ridge.

#16 Peja Stojakovic- In Peja's home country of Serbia and Montenegro, finding one of his chest hairs is akin to finding a peacock feather or a four-leaf clover.

#11 Marcus Vinicius- Though his name sounds like that of a tyrannical Roman emperor, Marcus is actually a willowy, unassuming swingman from Brazil.

#30 David West- Though he stands at an imposing 6'9'', 240 lbs, David has been known to sing in a sweet, delicate falsetto when he's alone. Only the nimblest of eavesdroppers have observed his mesmerizing voice.

Those are your Hornets. Game Thread coming later. Peace.