Time for a little "Dear Seth..." advice column.
"Am I betraying my Knicks fandom by rooting really hard for the Warriors? Help, I'm having a little bit of a crisis here."
- Barnesgasm in New York
Great question, Barnesy. When our team is left out of the playoffs, we all go through a period of confusion and excitement. I, too, found myself gasping for breath last night as the Warriors spray-farted all over the hapless Mavericks. I even let out a vociferous "Oh Shit!" when Jason Richardson threw a gorgeous pass from a seated position. The fact is, Golden State is one of the most likeable teams in history. They have a hilarious cast of characters, a sloppy and hilarious coach, rowdy fans, and an style of play that makes you dizzy. The Mavs on the other hand, are an evil empire. They have a lizard coach, a rich, pissy owner, and a bumbling German star. Oh, and their point guard pretends he's an airplane when he makes a three-pointer.
As diehard Knicks fans though, we need reasons to love the Warriors. Here's the best I can muster....
Reasons Knicks fans can love the Warriors this postseason:
- They fucking rocked us in February. And didn't the samurais say you should respect a worthy adversary or something? It was either the samurais or Yoda who said that. Or maybe Speed Racer. Respect.
- On the other hand, we beat Golden State in March. So maybe, like, we coulda taken the Mavs in a playoff series, too? How bout that?
- Baron Davis' beard, Jason Richardson's ears, Al Harrington's scalp, and Mickael Pietrus' fishy tail.
- Don Nelson used to coach the Knicks...although he wasn't as loveable or sloppy at the time.
- Matt Barnes is a former Knick and, well, you know...
- Zarko Cabarkapa dunks on his opponents, and then carves a "Z" into their foreheads with his sword.
- Find your 96-97 Knicks CD and play "Go New York, Go New York, Go." Know all the lyrics.
- Watch a full episode of "MSG, NY."
- Put on a velvet jacket and fedora and call your friends "precocious neophytes."
- Watch David Lee's tip-in video. Then watch it again without sound and do your own rendition of Gus Johnson's call.
- Watch "Eddie".