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Warriors...Come out to Play-ay!

Time for a little "Dear Seth..." advice column.

"Am I betraying my Knicks fandom by rooting really hard for the Warriors? Help, I'm having a little bit of a crisis here."

- Barnesgasm in New York

Great question, Barnesy. When our team is left out of the playoffs, we all go through a period of confusion and excitement. I, too, found myself gasping for breath last night as the Warriors spray-farted all over the hapless Mavericks. I even let out a vociferous "Oh Shit!" when Jason Richardson threw a gorgeous pass from a seated position. The fact is, Golden State is one of the most likeable teams in history. They have a hilarious cast of characters, a sloppy and hilarious coach, rowdy fans, and an style of play that makes you dizzy. The Mavs on the other hand, are an evil empire. They have a lizard coach, a rich, pissy owner, and a bumbling German star. Oh, and their point guard pretends he's an airplane when he makes a three-pointer.

As diehard Knicks fans though, we need reasons to love the Warriors. Here's the best I can muster....

Reasons Knicks fans can love the Warriors this postseason:

  1. They fucking rocked us in February. And didn't the samurais say you should respect a worthy adversary or something? It was either the samurais or Yoda who said that. Or maybe Speed Racer. Respect.
  2. On the other hand, we beat Golden State in March. So maybe, like, we coulda taken the Mavs in a playoff series, too? How bout that?
  3. Baron Davis' beard, Jason Richardson's ears, Al Harrington's scalp, and Mickael Pietrus' fishy tail.
  4. Don Nelson used to coach the Knicks...although he wasn't as loveable or sloppy at the time.
  5. Matt Barnes is a former Knick and, well, you know...
  6. Zarko Cabarkapa dunks on his opponents, and then carves a "Z" into their foreheads with his sword.
Things you can do to repent:
  1. Find your 96-97 Knicks CD and play "Go New York, Go New York, Go." Know all the lyrics.
  2. Watch a full episode of "MSG, NY."
  3. Put on a velvet jacket and fedora and call your friends "precocious neophytes."
  4. Watch David Lee's tip-in video. Then watch it again without sound and do your own rendition of Gus Johnson's call.
  5. Watch "Eddie".
So there you go. Show your Warriors pride, hit up Golden State of Mind, and reminisce about the days of Chris Mills and Bimbo Coles. For now, we can be Warriors fans. Just don't forget who you really are...