Meet the Pistons!
#1 Chauncey Billups- Contrary to popular belief, Chauncey's nickname, "Mr. Big Shot", does not refer to his late-game basketball heroics. The name, in fact, originated from his proficiency in Golden Tee.
#8 Will Blalock- When he feels threatened, Will rolls up into a ball and stays completely still- sometimes for hours at a time. Because of this, Will has to be subbed out for good every time he is fouled.
#34 Dale Davis- When Dale began complaining about minutes, Flip Saunders started brandishing a stun gun on the sidelines. That shut him right up.
#20 Carlos Delfino- While most players drink Gatorade on the sidelines, Carlos favors a good Cosmopolitan.
#12 Ronald Dupree- Ronald often leaves practice to go outside and graze.
#32 Richard Hamilton- Most people know about Richard's endorsement of a Goodyear tire tread pattern in his cornrows. Very few caught his brief hairstyle tribute to the Cinnabon.
#10 Lindsey Hunter- After his failed steroid test, Lindsey wisely opted to cancel his incoming shipments of rhinoceros hormones.
#25 Amir Johnson- In addition to his budding basketball career, Amir occasionally publishes novels under the pseudonym "J.K. Rowling."
#54 Jason Maxiell- 1 out of every 8 spinal injuries is caused by a Jason Maxiell hug.
#24 Antonio McDyess- One of Antonio's several knee surgeries was to remove a half-eaten Crunch bar that had been accidentally sewn into his leg in a previous surgery. The same surgeon performed the extraction, and the candy bar was finished soon after.
#13 Nazr Mohammed- Nazr possesses a sixth sense- the ability to communicate with butterflies.
#6 Ronald Murray- Though Ronald is the most successful basketball player to ever come from Shaw University, he is most known at his alma mater for eating all the books in the library in a single afternoon during his freshman year.
#22 Tayshaun Prince- During the halftime team meeting, Tayshaun is usually somewhere above the rest of the players and coaching staff, crouching and leaping from locker to locker. The coaches are somewhat irked at his lack of attention to team discussions and strategies, but are pleased that he eats all the pesky flies and spiders in the locker room.
#36 Rasheed Wallace- Though Rasheed has picked up many technical fouls over the years, only once- during a preseason game in 2002- did he ever feel any remorse for being T'd up. From this singular instance of regret emerged the small patch of gray in his hair.
#84 Chris Webber- Because of the Fab Five's contribution to basketball fashion and culture, Chris has petitioned the league to receive a small royalty check every time an NBA player's shorts hang below his knee.
Those are your Pistons. Game thread coming your way tomorrow. Peace.