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Over-Analysis of Meaningless Games: Knicks 87, Sonics 74

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In their first game of Summer League action, the Knicks kicked the shit out of the cold-shooting Seattle Supersonics, 87-74. One thing I've learned is that summer league stats are bullshit, so I won't even mention those. If you must check them out, go for it. I have for you some standard game notes, as well as reports on the Knicks' young guns.

Game Notes

  • Herb Williams might be the coolest guy in the world. Top five.
  • I wonder if David Lee misses Channing Frye as a friend. When they went clubbing, who do you think got the ladies? I can't really look past their basketball games, so I imagine that Chan was reeling in the best talent in 2005, but somewhere in '06 the tables turned, and Lee became the man. On that note, Dave was in attendance and seated next to an extremely attractive blonde. Good for Dave.
  • Gus Johnson and Clyde were calling the game. Clyde was disappointingly attired in a gray, short-sleeved button-up job. Still great to hear their voices.
  • Jermaine Jackson!
  • Mickael Gelabale's name is pronounced "JEL-a-ball", but Gus alternated between "GEL-a-ball" and "Gel-a-ball-ay".
  • Isiah was sitting in the stands with Joe Dumars and a very svelte looking Mark Aguirre. While Joe and Isiah yukked it up about Bill Laimbeer or god knows what, Mark was quietly eating popcorn a row back.
  • Awesome sequence you could only catch in July: Julius Hodge misses a free throw off the side of the backboard. The rebound is batted around to Tre Simmons, who takes off the other way and throws a dunk directly into the front rim. If this were NBA Live '05, Kenny would call that a "spine-tingler".
  • Where's Mario Boggan at? He was my favorite player in college this year. He's like Mike Sweetney with three-point range and a mean streak.
  • Brian Greene is the tits. His stroke is water and his hairline is receding dramatically. He's like Eric Piatkowski reincarnated.
  • Jeff Green dunked alllll over Nate Robinson after picking up a loose ball. Nate thought about contesting it, but pretty much bent over in mid-air and kinda kissed his hip.
  • Speaking of Green, he looked decent but not wonderful. Same with Durant. There were flashes, but I was unimpressed. It's just summer league, so I'm not really worried. I'll tell you what, though. If those two aren't stars right off the bat, the Sonics are gonna be a wave of suck this year. It's Durant, Green, and like...Wally Szczerbiak? That's an NBA team?
  • I hate those commercials that are ads for the previous commercial. Like, "Hi there, I'm Beth-Ann. If you liked the commercial you just saw, you should call this number." What's up with that?
  • At halftime, the guys talked to Wilson Chandler. Clyde introduced himself by saying "Hi Wilson, this is Walt Frazier- the greatest Knick ever." It's gonna be a long summer without Clyde in my life. Better make the most of it now.
  • The Knicks as a team kicked ass by playing lockdown defense and running the fast break at every opportunity. If we see either of those things during the season, I'd be surprised.
  • Robert Swift now has a ponytail, officially making him the most terrifying human being I've ever seen in my life. I think he could be a dominant post presence, just because people are afraid to touch him.
  • Humpty took a spill and caught a Jeff Green knee to the schnozz. Unfortunately, he opted to ice it, eliminating the possibility of him having a nose big like a pickle but still getting paid.
  • Mardy Collins should grow a beard. He'd look a little like Clyde I think.
  • Quentin Richardson, David Lee, and Fred Jones all sat in on the booth. They're all happy and whatnot. Nothing interesting was said, but it's good to see everybody showing up and camaraderie and shit.
Scouting Report
Demetris Nichols
  • Good use of fakes
  • Ugly-ass free throws for some reason
  • Shooting stroke is good as advertised
  • Solid coming off screens
Randolph Morris
  • Does not care about your feelings- Blocked the shit out of Durant at least twice and rebounded like a schizophrenic baby snatcher on meth.
  • Can dunk. Just clarifying.
  • Surprisingly nice touch from a couple feet out
  • Did all of this with his eyes 75% closed
Wilson Chandler
  • Passes the look test. Surprisingly tall, surprisingly jacked, surprisingly fast.
  • Range looks almost as good as Nichols', though he's got worse shot selection
  • Good free throw shooter
  • Very active and handsy on D. I'm gonna try and make "handsy" a Jay Bilas word by next summer. Spread the gospel.
  • Can pass in traffic very nicely.
  • Can pump up the jam. Pump it up. While your feet are stompin'.
Nate Robinson
  • Without question the leader. Talked a lot on offense and defense.
  • Looked intelligent, creative, and quick-thinking
  • Made an effort on defense. Helped a lot with doubling Durant.
  • Showed good chemistry with guys on the break. Or as Clyde would say it, "good ESP".
  • I really hope he grows an afro.
Renaldo Balkman
  • Didn't show any added offensive moves.
  • Blocked Durant a couple times. Balkman will catch somebody's jumpshot this season. I'm psyched.
  • Very pesky on defense, competely shut down Durant.
  • Dunked on everyone.
And that's all I've got. Good first game. Tomorrow the Knicks take on China. It's on NBA TV, not MSG, so I won't be able to watch. Peace.