That's right, children. Your old Uncle Charles Oakley is writing a book about his own life.
Whenever that book is published, it'll be something else, Oakley says.
"I'm not pulling any punches, true stories. It ain't one of those Charles Barkley fake books, it's a Charles Oakley book," Oakley said. "It's not an O.J. book, it's an Oakley book."
Any book that chronicles Oakley's life is sure to have its fair share of explosive anecdotes. He was a guy who got suspended for a Raptor game for drilling a basketball at Jeff McInnis's head at a shootaround. He got tossed from a pre-season game before it began for slapping Tyrone Hill in the head to remind him about a gambling debt.
Oakley has a long list of memorable sayings, ranging from `If it ain't broke, don't break it," to "Just because there's glass on the road don't mean there's been an accident."
Now there's something I'll certainly be reading when the time comes. "If it ain't broke, don't break it" is officially one of Posting and Toasting's many mottos, along with "Sometimes, dinner was just crackers" and "No play for Mr. Gray".
By the way, voting for the Top Ten list closes at midnight. I've already done the preliminary tallies (or, to be more clear, my team of trained genius badgers did it), and things are shaping up well. If you haven't done so yet, get your top ten posted.
Oh, and by the way, I originally had Ewing somewhere on my list but I wanted to move him down and instead deleted him completely. I was gonna change it, but I've realized that he was never really a favorite of mine. Maybe I'm too young. Either way, he's well into first place, so it don't matter.
(Tip of the hat to TrueHoop.)