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Lakers 120, Knicks 109

Los Angeles' Kobe Bryant gets infected with smallpox.
(AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

Well that sucked. I usually don't recap immediately after a game, but this one just can't wait. Whenever the Knicks play in Los Angeles (against the Lakers), things tend to be exciting. This one kept the trend. It was a game of big shots and highlights with a little bit of chippiness and Sasha Vujacic mixed in. Ultimately, the Knicks couldn't hang tough in crunch time, and a huge fourth quarter run by L.A. turned a 9-point deficit into a double-digit win. Game notes:

  • One of the pre-game shots was Isiah and Jack Nicholson sharing an especially hearty chuckle. I can't guess what they might've been laughing about, but I bet it has something to do with The Bucket List.
  • The Knicks are SO much better when the guards attack the basket.
  • The phrase "amateur video" always sounds dirty.
  • Want to get on MSG? Go to another city and wear a Walt Frazier jersey.
  • Spike Lee was seen courtside sitting with Brian Grazer. I was gonna make some joke about a show called "Black 24", but they actually already worked together on Inside Man. Bummer.
  • It's funny how my favorite NBA players end up being the most hated when the Knicks play against them. Guys like Baron Davis, Lamar Odom, and Ronny Turiaf have had me red in the face over the last few nights.
  • Another way to get on MSG: be a fat dude with a mustache and wear a David Lee jersey OVER a buttoned-up dress shirt.
  • I'm watching "Rangers in 60" while I write this. Did you know that hockey was just guys punching each other?
  • Isiah's beloved-of-late zone defense worked alright, but has proven to yield quite a few offensive rebound opportunities for the other team. Pick your poison.
  • I'm glad Trevor Ariza was out for this one.
  • With 9:45 left in the second quarter, Jared Jeffries hit a jump shot. Somewhere over the Arctic Ocean, a random, unsuspecting seabird suddenly dropped out of the sky to its death.
  • Someone asked Phil Jackson what he thinks of Clyde. Phil responded that he thinks of him reading a dictionary when they were roommates together, that he was the one who made Clyde start going out more, and something else about smoking a pipe. The interviewer came back with "what was in the pipe?" Phil didn't really reply, but Clyde gave us our answer when he pointed out that he never really read the dictionary back then.
  • It was marijuana in the pipe. In case you didn't gather that.
  • According to Kenny Smith, (forgot to mention it was a three-man crew) Eddy Curry cannot score points while on the bench. You don't say.
  • Sasha Vujacic was a filthy, disease-ridden leech of a bastard the entire night. He stuck threes, played obnoxious defense, and had stupid facial hair. The highlight of the night was a swift and completely deliberate elbow from Renaldo Balkman directly into Vujacic's stubble. Not long after that, Vujacic put a hard foul on Balkman and stood over his body like he was gonna fight the man. Let me tell you something, SASHA. Actually, let me tell you two things. First of all, I know like a dozen Jewish girls with the same first name as you. You are not cool. Second, you couldn't win a fight with Humpty if you had an icepick and a free shot. Oh, and one more thing: fuck your stubble.
  • A summary of the Knick defense, particularly when Jeffries is involved: too much help on the perimeter, not enough help in the paint.
  • Fact: In Congolese, "Ilunga-Mbenga" means "lane violation". Watch this video, courtesy of Barnesgasm.
  • After sinking a fairly routine jumper, Ronny Turiaf was seen blowing on his hand like Tim Thomas does. That's just below the "heil Hitler" on my list of hand gestures worthy of a violent response.
  • Sometimes I feel bad making fun of players on my blog. Then I hear Breen, Smith, and Clyde- three professional announcers- ripping on DJ Mbenga for LITERALLY 15 minutes straight, and I don't feel as bad.
  • I'm too lazy to find pictures, but does Turiaf look a little bit like Ghostface Killah?
  • Here's a fun way to freak out your friends: as soon as the MSG halftime report goes to commercial, start singing Squeeze's "Tempted". The Heineken ad with that very song will come on and you will look like the Nostradamus of irritating television commercials.
  • They'll tell you that Ronny Turiaf had 5 blocks. They won't tell you that three were rebounded and converted by the Knicks.
  • Eddy Curry had 4 fouls by the early second quarter. He returned early in the third, only to pick up his fifth. But that wasn't what got me. What makes me mad was that his fifth foul was a passive swipe at Lamar Odom, who sank a layup for the and-one. If you're gonna pick up an ill-advised quick fifth foul, MAIM SOMEBODY.
  • In a particularly stirring moment, Zach Randolph proved that he can, indeed, get rim. He couldn't connect the dunk though. That's too much to ask of a 6'9'' man.
  • Renaldo Balkman hit a three-pointer. On purpose.
  • Another fun moment from the miserable, shit-guzzling parasite with the girl's name. Sasha fouled Nate pretty hard on a fast break and Nate responded by dunking his ass into the basket stantion. He got T'd up, but it was totally worth it.
A Few Individual Performances of Note
  • Nate Robinson was fantastic until a few piss-poor decisions in the final minutes. He led the way with 22 points and 9 assists.
  • David Lee's might be a worse defender than some house plants, but he had 21 and 12 in 37 minutes.
  • Eddy Curry gurghhhhggggghaaggughhhh.
Anyway, this was, until the very end, an intense, exciting game with its fair share of big moments and petty beefs. Down the stretch, the Lakers tightened things up and the Knicks lost control. I'm going to bed. One love.