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Knicks 91, Heat 88

(AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

It wasn't pretty, but the Knicks got a rare road W last night in Miami. Quick recap of a miserable basketball game:

  • Miami was empty last night. And I don't just mean the arena. The entire population of the greater Miami area left town for the night to avoid catching a whiff of this game.
  • More on that: Breen mentioned that the Miami crowd is typically a late-arriving one, to which Kenny Smith replied, "this crowd is arriving next year".
  • Smith's official Overused Word of the Night was "pro". In a game like this, the pros come to play. Shawn Marion is a pro's pro. Wilson Chandler was playing like a pro. We got it.
  • More from Smith: Did you know he invented Shawn "The Matrix" Marion's nickname? I did not.
  • As you've surely heard, it's been one year since Isiah got a new contract. The Knicks have won twenty-something games since then. Hey, Dolan didn't say he wanted "evident progress" after the re-signing.
  • At one point, Nate Robinson tied someone up and the whistle blew. A foul was called, but Nate excitedly thought it had been ruled a jump ball, and rushed the referee to give him a high five. He was left hanging and the Knick bench was left in stitches.
  • Someone needs to make a video of every time Mark Blount touched the ball in the second half. It was surreal. I'd guess he had 15 touches in the final 24 minutes, and that he hastily bricked an off-balance jump shot on about 10 of those touches. It was so egregious that Mike Breen's call at one point was "Mark Blount with...a pass!". My fantasy team thanks you, asshole.
  • As Barnesgasm pointed out, the Miami PA announcer must have accidentally ingested some speed in his pre-game snack. The guy was practically screaming such unimpressive names as "DAEQUAN COOOOOOK!!!" and "CHRIS QUIIIIINN!!1", which was made even more depressing by the noticeable echo in the completely empty arena.
  • Alonzo Mourning's son Trey was in attendance as a ballboy. Word has it that after getting an A on a spelling test, Trey will flip his desk, flex his biceps, and snarl at the teacher .
  • Mardy Collins with a shaved head looks oddly like Shandon Anderson.
  • At one point in the fourth quarter, my dog (who had been snoring loudly at my feet through the whole game) lifted her head, watched the game for a few seconds, groaned, and went back to sleep. I'm not making this up.
  • I just watched the highlight on SportsCenter, and the reel showed a total of 3 turnovers and 2 airballs, with only one made shot shown. I don't know how better to describe this game.
That is all. Back later.