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Thomas Shuffles Starting Lineup

By Seth

The Knicks are officially out of playoff contention, and Isiah Thomas has resorted to some pretty conspicuous lineup moves. Unproven youngsters like Wilson Chandler and Mardy Collins have received extended minutes, prompting some critics to accuse the Knicks of tanking for lottery position. Well, talking with media Tuesday, Isiah only made it easier for the critics, announcing that Assistant Coach Brendan Suhr, Trainer Anthony Goenaga, Team Spokesman Jonathan Supranowitz, and Knicks City Dancer Breena will be moved to the starting lineup for tonight's game against Milwaukee. Breena and Goenaga are expected to start at the 1 and 2, with Supranowitz and Suhr filling out the frontcourt. Malik Rose will start at center. Says Thomas:

"Milwaukee is an excellent chance for some of our unproven staff and dancers to get some minutes. Mo Williams is a tough cover, and I think Breena is our best bet for the defensive assignment. Malik is still our number one option, but we're going to try and exploit mismatches and get Brendan some touches against Charlie Villanueva."

When asked if his move could be considered tanking, Thomas replied:

"No, absolutely not, and you can suck a fat dick for asking. We're just trying to get a look at some untapped resources on this roster, and hopefully lose some games in the process."

The Knicks' typical starters are all sidelined with a variety of injuries, including a "hyper-extended ear" for Jamal Crawford, "leprosy-like symptoms" for Zach Randolph, and a "hairline fracture of the taint" for David Lee. Tonight's game tips off at 8 p.m.

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