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Key Dates on Knicks' Schedule Revealed

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Though the official NBA schedules won't be released for another week or so, certain highlights have already leaked their way into print. Via Frank Isola (via a "team source"), here are some dates to circle on your "Just Us Chickens" calendar:

10/27: Knicks at Raptors (Season Opener)

10/30: Knicks vs. Blazers (Home Opener)

12/17: Knicks vs. Heat (B.Y.O. Projectiles)

12/25: Knicks vs. Bulls (Christmas Day on ABC/ESPN)

After the jump, my own team sources have leaked some other key events.

9/23: Amar'e Stoudemire builds a sukkah in the Knicks' locker room. Wilson Chandler finds that he has a taste for gourds.

9/24: Raymond Felton is sidelined from the Knicks' first day of training camp after suffering a pair of "falsified hips" several nights prior.

9/29: Jerome Jordan's birthday party. (Bring a bathing suit! Also, Jerome will only be accepting Webkinz as gifts! If you bring something else, you will be turned away at the door!).

11/7: Andy Rautins forgets to "fall back" for Daylight Savings and shows up to a home game an hour early surprised that nobody's there. Rautins sings the national anthem (as well as "Oh Canada", just for good measure), announces the lineups, and does the tip-off all by himself. He also inserts himself into the starting five and scores 75 points on 24-33 shooting (20-24 from three and, oddly enough, 7-8 from the free throw line) before people actually show up at the arena and Andy realizes he's made a mistake.

11/18: An equipment manager searching for a misplaced sneaker finds Jonathan Bender asleep in a broom closet, decides not to tell anybody.

11/22: Following a minor but somewhat frightening injury, monocles are banned from NBA courts. ("The Kelenna Azubuike Rule").

12/1: To quell rumors that he and Amar'e Stoudemire are clashing, Coach Mik'e D'Anton'i legally adds some more apostrophes to his name.

12/3: In a fit of brotherly one-upmanship, Dan D'Antoni changes his name to ''' ''''''''.

12/26: Danilo Gallinari scores a career-high 55 points in what will forever be known as "The Kwanzaa Klassic".

12/31: Ronny Turiaf attends his first ever New Years Eve in New York City. At midnight, Ronny swats the countdown ball onto 6th Avenue.

1/18: Kelenna Azubuike throws an alley-oop to Timofey Mozgov. Walt Frazier swallows his tongue.

2/3: Out of boredom, Toney Douglas stops doing what Toney Douglas do for exactly 40 seconds. A small meteor shower hits New York City.

2/14: Wilson Chandler eats all of his Valentine's Day candy before gametime, is a DNP because of "Smartie Farts".

2/26: Following a string of breakout performances by the Knicks rookie, Chelsea Piers changes its name to "Landry Fields".

3/6: Team doctors discover a strange lump on Anthony Randolph's abdomen and ask him to sit out that night's game as a precautionary measure.

3/7: Randolph shows up to practice with a full-length and fully functional human arm protruding from his torso.

4/25: An understandably confused James Dolan sends a vicious email to the NBA front office complaining about the fact that the Knicks have played the Heat three times in a row.

4/28: On "Take Your Daughter to Work Day", Bill Walker brings in a juvenile badger that he found and adopted during a Western road trip. The badger wears eyeliner and hoop earrings and is named "Edith".

5/1: Amar'e Stoudemire sets a bonfire in the Knicks' locker room. Nobody knows what Lag BaOmer is. Stoudemire is suspended. Timofey Mozgov gets his first haircut.

Mark your calendars!