Recently it came up that the Knicks are in the market for a horribly incapable offensive player with negative 4.5 percent body fat and warped Will-Smith features. Well, about an hour ago I read about the Rockets trying to practically give one away for little to no cost. What luck! Naturally, Donnie Walsh is pulling some strings in attempt to sign veteran Jared Jeffries who, in a mirror maze, could pass for Will Smith. "Clamoring" indicates that Posting & Toasting dot com would not be receptive to such a trade as "JJ 4 E-Curry lol." Well, I'll give you one reason the Knicks should, in fact, trade Eddy Curry to Houston in exchange for Jeffries: Wholesale Substitutions.
Like all Americans, I play pick-up basketball. Like many education-oriented Americans, I play intramural basketball. During these intramural games, because I love basketball in the same obsessive, fixated, realistically strange way that Forrest loved Jenny (RIP, pour some liquor out), I pay attention to every move my team makes, as well as every move the opponent makes in terms of strategy.
Last season, I played a team brilliantly named "The Liam Neesons." They wore jerseys with the names of characters Liam Neeson has played throughout his brilliant career. I guarded Oskar Schindler. He burned me for about fodee, but that is neither here nor there.
The reason The Liam Neesons absolutely picked apart my team is because they had exactly ten players, one greater than my team. The strategy they employed with these ten players was amazing, though; wholesale substituting. By that I mean they started 5 guys, called a time-out exactly 10 minutes into the first half, substituted every single player, and ran the floor against our tired-ass squad. The same 5 who ended the first half started the second, and sure enough they called a time out halfway through to sub everyone who started the game back in to finish it.
Domination.
The reason I bring this up on our lovely Knicks blog is simple:
1. Douglas
2. Azubuike
3. Gallinari
4. Stoudemire
5. Turiaf
1. Felton
2. Walker
3. Chandler
4. Randolph
5. Mozgov
Squad one: Outside shooters surrounding insiders; Stoudemire, and offensive juggernaut; Turiaf, a great defender.
Squad two: A talented alley-oop thrower surrounded by excellent dunkers who run the floor like whoa.
Sure, it's flat-out impossible for this to work, particularly given the likely politics involved with starting Douglas ahead of Felton as well as the unlikelihood of all ten guys showing themselves to be deserving of minutes. But would it be the most beautiful tragedy of a basketball strategy you've ever seen? Why, yes it would.