Pre-Game Reconnaissance: Knicks at Spurs- 11/15/12

What's up with the Spurs?

I asked my friend Matthew Tynan from Pounding the Rock:

So with basically the same roster intact from last year, I guess things are going as well as expected thus far. The continuity is evident but there are some apparent differences from last season. Gregg Popovich spoke ad nauseam about improving the defense from last year to this, preaching through training camp about it being the key factor in accomplishing their goal of returning to the Finals. And the defense has been better, though not by much. The difference between the starters and the bench defensively is chasmic, the reason for which being the play of Tim Duncan and Kawhi Leonard. With Tony Parker struggling a bit and Manu Ginobili being virtually nonexistent as he continues to rebound from back spasms, Duncan's play has been unreal. He's putting up better numbers in more minutes per game than he has in years, and physically he looks like the Timmy of five years ago. Or whatever. San Antonio still has a way to go to be the team they were at the end of last season, but you have to expect a resurgence from Parker (because he probably just has something in his eye right now) and hopefully a healthy Ginobili. So in conclusion, Tim Duncan is good, San Antonio is playing well, Leonard is like the only Spur to ever have braids and it's 2012, and everybody is happy I guess. Except Pop.

And one more interesting little note from Matt:

Spurs are 7-1, but they could be dancing around .500 had they not played well in close games. Spurs have won 4 games in the final minute....3 of those games won by 3 points or less.

Meet the New Spurs?

Nando de Colo- Nando's biggest adjustment since arriving from overseas has been learning that the detonation of fireworks and other small explosives is considered a flagrant type two foul in the NBA rulebook.

Pascal 2200- Pascal is a French-speaking robot the Spurs enlisted to make Nando de Colo feel more welcome and chaperone him around San Antonio. Tony Parker and Boris Diaw each attempted to fill this role, but Tony had other obligations and Boris got both himself and Nando stuck in quicksand for almost 36 hours.

Adventures in Impersonating Stephen Jackson on Omegle!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: hi

Stranger: what MCS?

You: mcs?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: a guy right now was saying that

You: maybe MCs like rappers?

You: i'm an MC

Stranger: maybe

Stranger: i thought

Stranger: but

Stranger: really

Stranger: u are a MC?

You: yeah a great one

You: best in the league

Stranger: what league

Stranger: ?

You: the league

You: NBA

Stranger: nice

Stranger: i went only to one NBA game

You: what was it

Stranger: well

Stranger: 2009

Stranger: warriors VS blazers

Stranger: oracle arena

You: no shit! warriors!

You: i was probably in that game

Stranger: beb 12

Stranger: feb*

You: lets see

You: oh shit yeah

You: i had 20 points that night

You: nellie fuckin ran me ragged

You: i didnt shoot well but we won

Stranger: wait

Stranger: u are a player

Stranger: ?

You: hell yeah i am

Stranger: well

Stranger: is the first one that i speak with

You: well congrats man you're speaking with the best

Stranger: man

Stranger: i remember that night

Stranger: my uncle took me, my brother and my cousin

Stranger: was like a dream

You: did you have a good time?

You: we got you that win

You: monta lit it up down the stretch

Stranger: of course i had a good time

Stranger: when i went to usa

Stranger: it was on my list

You: you a dubs fan?

Stranger: sorry about my ignorance

Stranger: but what a dubs

Stranger: ?

You: oh sorry man don't worry bout it

You: warriors

You: dubs like W

Stranger: oh

Stranger: well

Stranger: i'm from brazil

Stranger: and i don't follow the NBA

Stranger: but

Stranger: if is to me to twis to someone

You: brazil!

Stranger: now

You: do you know my guy tiago

Stranger: he play in nba

Stranger: ?

You: yes

You: he's a big blonde guy

You: always has his mouth open

You: gets hurt a lot and sucks at free throws

Stranger: there 3 who play

Stranger: i think

Stranger: 3 brazilians

You: yeah he's one of them i thin

You: he's from somewhere in south america

Stranger: tiago splitter?

You: yeahhhh that's my dude

Stranger: sometimes pass on sport tv about the brazilian who play in nba

Stranger: so of course i know

You: cool cool

Stranger: but

Stranger: can u tell your name

Stranger: ?

Stranger: if u don't mind

You: yeah stephen

Stranger: of course

You: aka jack

You: aka stack jack

You: aka captain jack

You: aka stephen nasty

You: aka stak5

You: i ran out of akas

Stranger: find it

You: find what?

Stranger: u on google

You: oh

You: you found me?

Stranger: to see u

Stranger: i find a realtalk NY

You: whats it say

Stranger: about u telling to rappers to worry

You: oh yeah rappers should be worried

You: i'm coming for them

Stranger: u start to sing now

Stranger: ?

You: no i don't sing much

You: just rap and ball and make love to pressure and other excellent shit

Stranger: get it

You: i always get it

Stranger: but if u still playing innext year

Stranger: in the next*

Stranger: probably

Stranger: i will wacht a live game

You: i hope so man

You: i'll play next year, don't worry

Stranger: ok

Stranger: send a hug to tiago

You: i dont want to touch that guy but i'll tell him you say whats up

Stranger: i need to go

Stranger: bye

You: bye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Rasheed Wallace Snack Tales!

San Antonio, man. This used to be the only spot you could get General Tso's.

General Tso's chicken, yeah.

Yeah I know. You can get that shit anywhere on the street now, but back in like '95 this was the only spot where you could get that chicken. It was hard to find and folks just didn't know about it I guess.

Yeah, it was a whole thing, too. You had to get your own chicken and call up Avery Johnson for the sauce.

I don't know if Avery had a guy or if Avery was the guy but my first year with the Bullets we were here in San Antonio and we were trying to get some snacks. Ledell Eackles sent me out to get some chicken nuggets so I went to McDonald's and got like 80 nuggets for everybody-- me, Ledell, Whitney, C-Webb, Gheorghe.

Yeah, Gheorghe always snacked with us. Just wait and let me finish. So yeah, I came back with the nuggets and obviously I got all the sauces-- barbecue and ketchup and that shit. And I sit down and crack the nuggets open cause I'm hungry from walking all the way to McDonald's and Ledell just slaps my hand and he's like "no rook, we got to wait for Avery."

Yeah so we sat there for like an hour and a half. They made me and Gheorghe and Whit wrestle for a while cause we were the rookies or young guys or whatever and they thought that shit was funny. Whatever. I just wanted my chicken and I was getting impatient. No idea what the fuck we were waiting for, but the guys said it was gonna be worth it. Eventually Avery showed up. Wheeled up on a goddamn bicycle with a basket on it. He pulled this big squeeze bottle out of the basket and was like "how much y'all want?".

Yeah, you know. High-pitched. I don't do a good Avery Johnson impression. But anyway we bought like a few grams of that General Tso's sauce probably.

I don't remember how much it cost but C-Webb gave that little man a lot of money and he fucking doused our nuggets with that sauce.

Oh yeah, it was worth it. I was hooked instantly. I'd never had that shit before. Gheorghe fucking lost his mind, too. Ate so much he puked. Do you have any idea how much chicken sauce it takes to make an 8 foot tall man throw up?

It's not like it used to be. I mean it's great that you can find the stuff everywhere now and it's all pre-made and shit, but it was the best back then. Can't get it like that now. And you had to get it from Avery. He was the guy.

Yeah. Anyway, that's why they call him the Little General or whatever.

How J.R. Smith spent Wednesday Night in San Antonio

looked at instagram

looked at twitter

watched like 20 minutes of that's my boy on demand. it was okay. i didn't fall asleep i just got bored

got starburst and ate the pink ones

looked at the window

looked out the window

looked at a pillow

looked at...a wall

i don't know normal stuff leave me alone

And now you're ready for Knicks-Spurs!

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