What's up with the Heat?
Well, I wasn't able to get in touch with the Hot Hot Hoops folks in time, but check out their post on how Miami intends to defend Carmelo Anthony (presumably playing the four):
Last season, the All-Star played 19 percent of his possessions at the 4-spot, and shot a blistering 55 percent there, according to 82games.com. The Knicks outscored it's opponents by 84 points during the course of the year with Anthony at power forward. By comparison, Anthony had a 17.4 player efficiency rating at small forward in 2010-11. At power forward? 29.5.
In short, LeBron James isn't the only small forward with a dazzling post game.
Shane Battier will probably have the task of limiting Anthony, with help from James at times and during crunch time if the game is close, but stalling a player of that caliber isn't entirely possible.
This analysis of Miami's offense in their first game is a worth a read as well, if you're interested.
Meet the new Heats!
Ray Allen- The Celtics may feel jilted and bitter about Ray's departure, but nobody feels more jilted and bitter than Lucas, a Wellesley-residing eastern gray squirrel who'd acquired a taste for the Allens' gourmet compost pile.
Josh Harrellson- Josh's new bathing jorts have a built-in mesh lining to combat chafing, but he doesn't know what to do about the salt stains acquired from his harbor swims.
Rashard Lewis- Rashard, under the impression that this was the way things work, elected to change his birthday to December 8, 1992 upon joining the Heat. Rashard's personal records and Heat paperwork have not been amended to reflect this change, because that isn't even remotely how things work or have ever worked anywhere.
Adventures in Impersonating Josh Harrellson (miss u, Josh) on Omegle!
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi there
Stranger: where you from
You: the country
Stranger: you are girl or boy
You: i'm a boy
You: a big boy
Stranger: i am girl
You: do you like meats
Stranger: yes!very much
You: what kind of meats
You: i love pig
You: i love all the meats
Stranger: me too
You: i once went swimming with a pig then ate it later that day
You: the whole thing
Stranger: why ate it
You: because i like pigmeat
You: and he was a weak swimmer and cheated at marco polo
Stranger: my English is not well
You: hey thats ok with me
Stranger: than you^_^
Stranger: thank you
You: pardon me but
You: could i interest you in some jorts
Stranger: what means jorts
You: shorts that are also jeans
You: best of both worlds kid
You: would you like an example?
You: here's me showing off my jorts
You: i can get your own pair if you want
You: could stitch your name on the front or the back
You: maybe throw some flames on the sides or a picture of an alligator
Stranger: my english name is Yvonne
You: ok we can do that
You: and then do you have a number that you like
You: like i usually go with 55
You: put it right on crotch area
You: so then people look at it and im like hey i'm up here! but i'm just kidding
You: okay we can do 9
You: my man rashard has that now and he wears his jorts a lot
You: loves them
You: i might be out of nines
You: i could just snag his
You: do you mind if your jorts say rashard on them
You: also they have a picture of a trumpet
You: i dont really know why but rashard asked for that
You: oh and a button fly
You: again, no idea why
You: great. you're gonna love these
You: you wouldn't happen to be 6'11" would you?
Stranger: I have to go to bed
Stranger: because i will go to shcool tomrrow!
You: okay sleep tight
You: ask your classmates if they need any school-appropriate jorts
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Six Degrees of Jason Kidd!
Jason Kidd's been around a while and he's made quite a few connections over the years. But what about the Miami Heat? Can we connect them to Jason in just six degrees? Let's see...
Heat forward Udonis Haslem attended the University of Florida. So did actress Faye Dunaway.
Faye Dunaway starred in Bonnie and Clyde with Warren Beatty.
Warren Beatty is named Warren. So is Belfius Mons-Hainaut forward Warren Carter.
Warren Carter played for the 2010 Knicks Summer League team with guard Jaycee Carroll.
Jaycee Caroll likes clams.
Clams hate Jason Kidd.
Jim Todd Pep Talks!
they're gonna trap you raybert. they're gonna trap you and they're gonna surround you with the arms and their necks and they're gonna try and murder you so you can't do passes to your team. i made a hole under the court raymom. i was here last night with my shovel and my dog and we dug a hole. if those rats trap you go to that spot. that spot that says new york knicks has a trap door and if you jump on it you will fall into a pillow hole. i'll get you from the pillow hole raygun. i won't let them kill you.
stevie this is a slingshot. you ever used one of these? doesn't matter. this is the safety. yes slingshots have safeties. stevie look at me. this is the safety. on. off. on. off. okay? you keep that safety on for now but when you check in the game you've gotta be ready to sling. no steve this is for you. don't walk away. you're supposed to do threes steve and the last time we had you out here trying to do threes those goddamn rats swarmed you like you were a slab of mutton. they were trying to kill you stevie. steamy if they come at you like that again i need to know that you're prepared to use your slingshot. hold this beauty with one hand here and one hand here, plop this old spiky beanbag in there, aim for the large intestine, and let loose. it's just a regular spiky beanbag. yes i made it. that's marmot fur. don't worry about that. just worry about doing some threes tonight stevie. those rats can't get you.
And now you're ready for Knicks-Heat!