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As I sat slumped on the couch, despairing at the idea of having to recap this farce of a basketball contest, my girl Grace Lilkitty kept jumping onto my chest, obscuring my view of the TV. At first I simply put her aside, irritated by yet another plea for attention. But then I realized something: This cat isn't bothering me. This cat is helping me...putting herself between me and the Knicks just as a Secret Service puts himself between the president and a bullet.
Kitty, you the real MVP
Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook looked every bit the All-Star on Frdiay night in his "official" return from a 14-game injury layoff, but we Knicks fans know the truth...dude was out there scrimmaging against a collection of four folding chairs and a sea lion with an inner ear infection. Such is the ineptitude of the 'Bockers, who pussy-footed their way to a 105-78 blowout in Oklahoma City.
How dominant was Westbrook tonight? Pretty much unprecedentedly so:
This is the first time in Russell Westbrook's career that he's had 20 points and more than 5 assists in a 1st half.
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) November 29, 2014
But hey, it's not like the Thunder needed him on this night. Oklahoma City led by 19 points by the end of the first quarter and never really looked back. I love Westbrook and I wish him all the best, but this wasn't a proper test for any professional basketball player. FARTDOG does not test; FARTDOG abides.
Some notes from an ass-whuppin':
- Quincy Acy had the play of the game, dragging Steven Adams several feet by his jersey, then getting called for shoving a Thunder guard out of bounds while dragging Adams by his jersey, then complaining about the whistle. Peak Quincy, really.
- The Knicks shot 0-13 from three in the first half and 2-19 for the game. And I still think it was a smart strategy, particularly with Carmelo Anthony unavailable. Let them threes fly, Knicks!
- Cole Aldrich looked downright competent, did he not? Derek Fisher gave him some extended burn against the Thunder regulars, and Cole held his own (holding one's own being the best we can hope for when it comes to the Knicks' frontcourt). He ended up with two blocks, four points and two dimes. Who needs Marc Gasol?
- The Knicks are actually quite adept at getting to the free-throw line once they're down by at least 20 points. Maybe they could that before getting down double-digits once in awhile? Just a suggestion.
- Jason Smith almost grabbed an offensive rebound in the second quarter, only to have it ripped from his hands by an opponent for what seemed like the fifth time in the past two games. Fortunately, the ball caromed directly to Amar'e Stoudemire. It was the closest Smith came to a rebound in the first half.
- The Thunder's crew waxed philosophically during the third quarter on the rebuilding process going on in New York. They are both of the belief that the New York fans would not tolerate breaking down a team to the extent that they did in Oklahoma City.
Fuck that. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THAT. First of all, I despise anybody who says such things about a fan base that has borne 15 years of almost constant futility. And I certainly won't tolerate that from a franchise that swiped a team that already had a future superstar.
So screw the both of you, Thunder announcing team.
We do not yet know if Melo will be back for the Knicks' next game -- Sunday against the Miami Heat. They'll probably lose regardless. In the meantime, you might as well do like StarksMiddleFinger and bury your sorrows beneath an avalanche of pie.