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Spurs 109, Knicks 95: "Poop is poop, with or without Melo."

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I have an announcement: The Knicks are 4-20. 4-20 is a funny number because of weed, which is funny. I can't say for sure and don't care to look, but I bet they've never been 4-20 before. Back when the Knicks were like 4-17, I realized Funny Weed Number was possible and hoped this moment would come. This is the happiest I've been all season. Achieving goals feel fantastic.

The Knicks-- without Carmelo Anthony or J.R. Smith-- reached Funny Weed Number by losing to the "Spurs," a half-available group of fuzzy young guys, shooters, and the spasming shawarma spit they call Aron Baynes. In the first half, the Knicks shot quite well, but didn't get to the line and committed many egregious turnovers. Like, a Spur would just walk up and reach for the ball and the Knick would be like "oh, I guess he wants this!" and give it away. And then the Knicks stopped shooting well and the Spurs scored 900 straight points and the game ended.

- In the first half, Samuel Dalembert was reaching for a loose ball on the ground but booted it out of bounds by accident. I laughed so hard my dog jumped out of her bed and came running to me thinking something was wrong.

- I wrote PABLO'S REAL MEAN NOW in my notes. I think I probably wrote that after he got a technical. I've enjoyed feisty Pablo this season, but what if he goes to far? What are we gonna do if Pablo just reaches down and rips out someone's Achilles tendon during a game? We haven't really known Pablo that long. We assume he's nice, but now we're seeing some darkness and there's no way of knowing his full capabilities.

- I liked that Jose Calderon rebounds, and I like that he does so with his head up. That loooooong outlet pass to Tim Hardaway Jr. was a thing of beauty. The thing of beauty, you might argue.

- Y'all saw Quincy Acy drop in a deft, spinning lefty hook, right? And did you see the look on his face afterward, like he let us in on a secret? Like "DAMMIT QUINCY KEEP IT TOGETHER. KEEP SMASHING PEOPLE AND SHOOTING WEIRD SPREAD-LEGGED JUMPERS. THEY CAN'T KNOW YOU'RE SECRETLY HAKEEM OLAJUWON."

- Clyde spent a while talking about how his body got so used to training that he still gets antsy and needs to exert himself around this time every year. He described running back and forth in his hotel room. Mike Breen asked if *that* was what he heard at 2 AM last night and added he "thought it was Clyde in the old days." THAT'S A SEX JOKE. Nobody laughed.

- The Knicks didn't score for 5 minutes in the third quarter. They were stuck on 61 until NBA superstar Cole Aldrich got a layup to fall in.

- Iman Shumpert's getting his hand checked out as I write this. It looked his finger might have gotten dislocated for a moment, although, as Clyde noted "not popped out enough that he can't shoot!"

- I think Boris Diaw can time travel, but only a couple seconds at a go.

- Tim Hardaway Jr.'s shoe fell off on defense. He chased his man around holding the shoe in one hand, then put it back on during a quiet moment, ran back the other way, and finished an and-one layup.

- Been getting Marino's Italian Ices at the bodega a lot lately. I really like them. I think everybody should buy them. This is a campaign for Marino's Italian Ices to sponsor P&T by sending me Italian Ices.

- I was hoping Hardaway would really go off after he buried a couple early jumpers. He ended up 9-18 for 23 points, which is good, but not the 80 or 90 points I was looking for.

- Amar'e played 17 minutes, which was probably a wise move by Derek Fisher. There's just no point. Not in a SEGABABA. This was garbage time from tip-off. I wish Cleanthony Early was healthy.

- Do you say "half an hour" or "a half hour"?

Oh well. I thought the weird situation might trip the Knicks into a win, but it didn't. Like Walt Clyde Phraser said, poop is poop. At least we got Funny Weed Number!