Okay, close your eyes. No wait-- donate some money to ALS research, then close your eyes. Okay, eyes closed? HOW ARE YOU STILL READING THIS THEN? Okay, read these instructions before you close your eyes: Imagine there is no such thing as the Ice Bucket Challenge. Imagine you're just about to see James Dolan get a bucket of ice water dumped on his head for no reason. Shit, it's been weeks since anyone did the Challenge anyway, so this isn't hard.
Close your eyes and imagine that. Okay now open them. OPEN THEM. Dammit you can't read this. You'll probably open on your own eventually.
...okay hi! Ready? Check it out:
Look at him trying to flex and smile it off like his peen didn't just invert. And like he didn't just hold his nose for that.
Now read about Dolan opening for The Eagles. Now watch him getting ice water dumped on his head again. Now watch this: