Those who follow both pro football and grassroots democracy probably stumbled upon an article or two describing a movement started by fans of the Denver Broncos to ban Phil Simms from calling their games on CBS.
The Giants fan in me got a nice chuckle out of Denver fans still harboring a grudge over the Super Bowl XXI MVP (22 for 25 passing, bitches!) but the Knicks fan in me was intrigued by the idea of banning an announcer.
The 2014-15 NBA season is nearly upon us, which means the glorious return of Clyde and Breen. It also means listening to some broadcasters who are neither shrewd, nor clever, nor slick.
We all have at least one announcer whose very voice makes our skin crawl. Maybe he is a national guy, working ESPN or TNT, promoted to no end despite the fact that he obviously sucks! Maybe he works a local broadcast, sullying every League Pass road game with his blatant homerism.
We here at the P&T dojo decided to hold a little roundtable discussion on which announcer we'd ban from calling Knicks games.
Reggie Miller's words and thoughts are completely disconnected from one another. He balks his way into sentences, fumbling sideways through forced idioms. He's bound to confuse himself, the listener, and his colleagues in one pathetic sputtering, backtracking swoop while obnoxiously and ineptly stammering through giddy, confused and flat-out incorrect explanations of what is actually happening on the floor. Reggie's comments stop the flow of conversation and just sit out in the open like a sun-dried shrimp on the piss-soaked pavement of your ears.
Doug Collins is to an NBA broadcast what asthma is to lungs.
He doesn't do actual games too often, but for me, it's probably Charles Barkley. I honestly can't remember the last time he didn't shit on either the Knicks or Melo specifically when those topics have come up. Chuck just frustrates the hell out of me.
(Ed: The worst thing Charles ever did to the Knicks was constantly harp on their rebounding problems during the 2012-13 season. Not only was it not true, it helped feed into the "East Is Big" mentality that helped screw up the 2013-14 team. Long story short: Screw Charles Barkley)
Tommy Heinsohn is the easy and obvious choice every Knicks fan should be able to drop. Homerism, unintelligible ranting, silly Tommy points thing. Plus it's the Celtics.
Stacey King blatantly lies to viewers about Bulls fouls. Super biased.
I'm going to have to go with Austin Carr here.
His voice sounds like he's gargling with pine tar, and he is usually content to babble at high volume, no matter the time of the game or the situation:
"ANDERSON VAREJAO HITS A FREE THROW! CAVS ONLY DOWN 23-12! BIXMMATT FARTALONG CAP-ROCK THURSDAY!"
I don't know if he is deliberately playing to the Cleveland fans and their intense inferiority complex, or if he has merely developed Stockholm syndrome. At least with LeBron back in the fold, his homer-ific ravings will correspond at least somewhat with what's actually happening on the court.
Seth: Austin Carr's voice is beautiful and it called one of my favorite stretches of NBA regular season history. He sounds like if a bowl of pudding could talk. This is a good thing. I don't care if he's a homer, I will not tolerate the hatred for Austin Carr.
Joe Flynn: Forgive me!
Seth: Forgiven. Leo Rautins has gotta go, though.
Anyway, take the poll below and feel free to stop by the comments and let us know which announcer should feel the wrath of the ban-hammer.