With my connections at SB Nation, as well as my industry insider celebrity reality trainwreck conformity deformity majority uproariously phantasmagorically for sure-iously status among NBA bigwigs, I was able to chronicle the locker room, studios and office "gas index" at Madison Square Garden. Due to an overheating incident some time after a Houston Rockets visit to MSG, I lost all of my visitor's locker room statistics, but felt it reasonable to share what findings I was able to salvage for the home team. Another misfortune was my research team's inability to document the frequency at which the scientifical meters were being blasted into. Thankfully each individual was categorized by the overall effectiveness of their brand of gas passed.
My guess is a lot of these guys do a lot of farting. Farts are very powerful things, yet not all farts are created equal. To help give you a clearer picture I've submitted a chart that displays the effective fart power for nearly every individual in the organization. Without further ado, I proudly present, The 2014-15 New York Knickerbocker Pre-Season Fart Chart. I hope you have time to look over it, and perhaps check it against your own personal register to see where you rank among your idols.
Many thanks to Roger Hinds and Anthony Goenaga, for secretly installing the Fart Reader Meters ®. I was surprised that their own alerts were set to the off position. Seems rather, shall we say, fishy.