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Knicks 101, Celtics 95: Kyle O'Quinn brutalizes Boston and all is right in the world

Beating the Celtics is always a good decision.

Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports

Do you hate the Boston Celtics? You're reading this website, so I'm going to assume you do. I shall also assume that you'd enjoy watching the Knicks tear apart the Celtics, regardless of whether or not the game counts in the standings.

Well rejoice, my friends, for the Knicks did exactly that Friday night, roughing up those green devils in a 101-95 victory that was surprisingly chippy for a preseason game.

We all know by now that center Kyle O'Quinn is a local boy, born and raised in Queens. He certainly played like someone weaned on good old-fashioned Celtics hate, wrasslin' for loose balls and picking up a flagrant foul on Boston's Jared Sullinger, who is starting to look an awful lot like former WWE wrestler Mabel from "Men on a Mission":

O'Quinn did not quake in the face of all that bulk and terrible blond mohawk. Instead, he notched his second double-double in four games, with 13 points and 11 rebounds to go along with two steals and two blocks.

Those takeaways were part of an exciting pattern for New York, who terrorized Boston's offense with 12 steals and seven blocks. They were long and athletic and active and everywhere, holding the Celtics to 39.8% shooting. I don't know what to make of it, but I like it.

The Knicks actually shot worse, at 37.0% overall, but made up for it with a sterling 12-25 performance from beyond the arc. Who led the charge from downtown? You guessed it...

Williams only got to the free throw line four times tonight, but made up for it by knocking down three of his five attempts from downtown, including a late dagger to salt the game away. He also chipped in five rebounds, a steal, and whatever the hell you call this Olympian feat:

Sure, the vast majority of the basketball world is laughing at Knicks fans right now for getting our hopes up, but screw them: We'll always have Derrick Williams' preseason.

Other notes:

- We just saw perhaps the best-case scenario for Cleanthony Early's NBA career. The sophomore forward chipped in 10 points, and was pesky on defense all night, drawing the ire of Jonas Jerebko and Tyler Zeller. Keep it up, Cle!

- Langston Galloway had himself a quietly effective, downright Langstonian performance. He didn't shoot well (2-8), but knocked down two triples, dished five assists (with no turnovers) and led the team with three steals. The kid may not be quick, but he is absolutely relentless in pursuit of the ball.

- Carmelo Anthony misfired for the first time all preseason with a paltry eight points on 4-14 shooting. He did, however, make David Lee wish he'd never been born:

- Arron Afflalo got his work in, dropping eight points and grabbing five rebounds. He looked to take smaller Celtic defenders down into the post, which will add a nice wrinkle to the offense. Clyde seemingly combined "points" and "boards" into one word during his pregame scouting report: "Afflalo averaged almost 18 pords one year in Orlando ... He's averaged 11 pords for his career." Whatever a pord is, get more of them, Arron!

- The starting lineup could use a few more wrinkles on offense, by the way. I'm not advocating a major overhaul or anything, but when Melo is off the starting five tends to stand still, chucking the ball around the perimeter and settling for contested jumpers. If they're not going to start Jerian Grant or Galloway (who ran some nice pick-and-roll action himself), then they need to give more touches to their big men, all of whom can pass.

Speaking of tall people who can pass and are awesome, Kristaps Porzingis should be available Saturday against the Hornets. Let's get him, Afflalo, Melo and Lopez together (with a point guard) and see what kind magic they can conjure.