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I love Kristaps Porzingis

William Hauser-USA TODAY Sports

1. Some things are so entertaining that they agitate me. Like, when I watch a particularly great episode of 30 Rock, I don't just enjoy it; I feel slightly jealous that I didn't get to help make it. That's how I am with Kristaps. Watching him excel somehow isn't enough. I want to be part of it. I want to go to the gym and rebound for him. I want to watch tape with him and hit rewind over and over again and point stuff out for him. I want to bring a ladder to shootaround and whisper affirmations in his ear while he warms up.

Another thing: My love of Kristaps compels me to share. I love reveling with you guys, but I also find myself trying to spread the joy of Porzingis to people who wouldn't otherwise care. My girlfriend is very tired of my Kristaps evangelism. My brother was receptive to the Word of Kristaps, but knows nothing about sports, so I explained all the necessary context, going back to the NBA Draft and how the lottery works. He kinda gets it now. I am a Kristaps zealot and a Kristaps missionary.

2. This is a half-baked theory and I want to hear what you think about it: Carmelo Anthony, whether he'd acknowledge it or not, wants to be a second option. From what we've heard over the years, Melo has recruited and/or embraced several teammates with increasingly scorer-like habits, like Chauncey Billups, J.R. Smith (and, by proxy, Steve Novak), and now Arron Afflalo. He's looked his absolute best in an Olympic setting, wherein he's neither the leading scorer nor the primary focus of the defense, free to score more opportunistically and contribute in other ways.

Melo loves buckets. He respects buckets. Kristaps can get buckets. It's becoming easier and easier to picture him as a reliable getter of said buckets someday; a team's primary bucket-getter. That'd make me nervous about his relationship with Melo, but I look at the way Melo seeks Kristaps (at times), as well as his assist numbers, his rebounding, and his defense this season, and I wonder if it's his dream to be the Other Guy -- the multi-purpose guy, the guy who shoots off the catch and fills in the cracks. The guy who watches tape of Pippen, not Jordan.

This isn't a theory I could defend with any confidence, but it's been rattling around my head lately. At the very least, I feel certain that Melo <3 buckets, and by the law of syllogism, <3 Kristaps, who <3 him right back.

3. I don't know exactly what the relationship is like between YouTube highlight uploaders like @DawkinsMTA and the NBA, but it seems to be at least somewhat permissive (not fully, but somewhat) on the league's end, and man, I just appreciate both parties so much for that.

I think (hope?) the NBA recognizes that work like this, often executed within hours of the game's final buzzer, makes me appreciate the league so much more. Dawkins in particular does such a flawless job of setting the stage and capturing every element of the experience as authentically as possible -- the set-up, the highlight selection, the announcers' calls and the necessary replays, plus little flourishes like playing free throws in a smaller window in the corner.

The thrill of watching games is the uncertainty -- will my heart swell with love because I'm watching something wonderful and rewarding, or will I be punished for that love as its object fails to perform? You and I must find that experience worthwhile, because we spend several nights of every week with it.

A separate experience -- a separate drug, really, because that's what this stuff is -- is watching a 3-minute highlight video knowing full well that it's all going to be great. It is a shot of love, distilled to its essence, unadulterated by moments of uncertainty or stagnation. This is also an immensely rewarding experience, totally distinct from its original substance. It used to come in the form of catching a few highlights of a Knicks win on SportsCenter. Now, like any drug, time and technology and the effort of people like Dawkins have produced an obscenely pure, highly potent version available on demand almost instantly. An hour after Kristaps wraps up a scintillating game, I hunt down the highlights on YouTube and get HYPERSCINTILLATED. It's fucking awesome.

My point is this: I love NBA games. I love NBA highlights. Neurologically speaking, I'm probably addicted to both. I'm glad the NBA lets me have both, because most leagues stand in the way of that free, independent marketing for their product. Maybe just pay @DawkinsMTA, NBA?


My greater point is this: I love telling people about Kristaps. I love how much Melo loves Kristaps. I love how much the internet loves Kristaps and enables me to love Kristaps even more. I love Kristaps.